Trolley rage

Good morning peeps.

How are we all today? Me... well thanks for asking, I'm currently sat in a thunder storm (possibly have broken the kids toilet but am hoping that because I've left it alone and broken it will have corrected and mended itself by the time I go back to check in a minute.)
How did I break it.... by unscrewing the push down flush to chuck one of those loo block things in. Now it won't screw back down.
Eeek.

Anyway enough about crappy toilets (hehehe) and on to my morning.
Thought I'd pop to Aldi as fruit is cheap and it literally comes in abundance. So the first problem of the day is getting a space, every granny and her walking stick is out today, there were people queueing by cars with no one in. I had more sense and I just drove around and around and around aimlessly. Eventually got a space and went to get a trolley .... put in my trolley coin and the trolley wouldn't budge and its swallowed my coin and I can't get it back, obviously doesn't like English trolley coins. Luckily I had 2 dollars (borrowed from Sean's pocket a few days ago along with some other gold coins and a $5 note) Go to other trolley insert coin and I'm away.
Aldi is looking quite empty, hurrah. Spend 10 minutes debating over what tuna do I want, line caught, net caught, in spring water, in oil, lime and pepper flavour, chili flavour, hand caught, smoked tuna there were more but that's all I can remember. Meanwhile fellow customer ...aka annoying lady (AL) stops also by the tuna and like me seems to not know which kind she wants.
I leave the tuna happy with my choosing of one of each (just to be on the safe side) I get to the fruit and AL is there in my way, I go left she goes left, I go right she goes right. You get the picture. I then spot some strawberries, another lady is knelt down looking at the boxes individually as if its the most sacred thing on the earth, so I wait and I wait and I wait. Meanwhile AL sneaks up from the right and tries to get in to the strawberry idolisation position.
I'm not having that, so I bend down and swoop in before her and grab a box, 'ha beat you' I say too loudly.
Wander round to the meat and she's there again, I'm now wondering if she was undercover security?! Anyway everywhere I stop she stopped, everything I picked up and scrutinised she did.
We obviously now have finished our shopping and we are both on the starting blocks for the tills, the race is on. I of course get the first only to realise I didn't get milk. So off I trundle back to the milk leaving AL to go through the till first.
When its my turn the cashier wants to chat about every thing under the sun, Easter, the weather blah blah. Which is fine until he asked me 'What are you doing for the rest of the day?" I very proudly announce "I'm spring cleaning"
he then stutters "In Autumn" me not realising the error in my sentence replies "yes.... I'm English" I said that in reference to it meaning that in the UK its spring now, but obviously I didn't go on to say that and he obviously didn't get that. End of conversation and I don't even get a bye or have a nice day.
(AL is at the side bagging her tuna and strawberries)
As I walk to the car there is a small gathering of old people and their walking sticks by the trolley (that has my English trolley coin in) all looking very disgruntled as it was one of the half size trolleys (you know the ones, where you think you're going in for just a few things, but then end up over loading the thing with far too many "bargains" and then trying to still justify it to yourself that yes you have got 12 items or less and yes you can still use the 12 items or less till)
Unpack the tuna into bags in the car and take trolley back, by now I thought there was an OAP incident I was getting ready to jump in and take control but as I got nearer I realised that no, all 25 of them were just standing around this line of half trolleys unable to get one out. Because of me. Ooops. Sticks were flying, wigs were slipping and voices were getting angry.
Oh dear.

Toilet still broken. Hmmm guess I'll leave that for another 10 minutes. (does flush though so not really broken?)

Oh the thunder storm.... It's raining and it is NOT a good day, there's lightening and like I said thunder. Hmmm. Not what I ordered today. (And for some reason the kitchen windows are all steaming up. Weird)

We went to Thredbo (http://www.thredbo.com.au) on Saturday, which was lovely. Charlotte freaked out coming down the ski lift and Sean had a little whimper but the funniest thing ... the bobsleigh.
Because we were newbies to it we had to be taken to the side and instructed how to use the sleigh. Push down for speed pull up for brake, Charlotte goes first, then me then Ob and lastly Sean.
We get to the top by being pulled up the hill on a cable and that's when the adventure is supposed to begin..... for some I'm sure it did but for me I was static, I didn't move. I can see behind Ob is nearly at the top of the hill and clearly wants to go, (I know this because he was shouting 'go mum, go, GO ON') so I start to shuffle on the thing to try and encourage it to move, It doesn't, so I'm then scrabbling either side of the sleigh on the grass to try and get it going, eventually it does.... very slowly.
Sean is now in sight.
I get a little bit of speed up and then think actually I don't like this and am pushing this lever down to brake which of course was speeding it up, visions of flying off the track are in my head, enter the first bend and its getting faster, I then remember the brake is pull up, but by now Ob is about 5 feet away and screaming "mum go faster, go faster, GO FASTER'
I'm screaming back "I can't it won't let me, You slow down, SLOW DOWN"
Now Sean decides to get in on the action and is screaming 'Ob go faster, GO FASTER"
Ob's shouting back at Sean "I can't, Mum's in the way, MUM'S IN THE WAY"
Eventually get to the bottom, Charlotte has aged 2 years because we've taken so long and the guy who gave us the instructions just looked at me with disbelief and raised eyebrows. Ob then asking me why I was so slow and I had to say my sleigh was broken. Sigh
So now on my list of what not to do is A) Stromlo and now B) bobsleigh.

So not really very eventful this week but it is only Tuesday.

Signing off now, jobs to hunt down and feet to warm up.

Lots of love to you all,

Living in a freezer

Hi from a very wet and cold Canberra. 

Have I told you how cold it is here at the moment. Even though it's winter I cant quite get used to it being so cold in July and I'm keeping an eye on your weather in the UK and it doesn't seem that much better. But c'mon we're in Australia its supposed to be boiling.
(Please note again FIL .... I did need those Timberland boots, and yes I know they were too small but I should've found some that fitted, and yes I do remember I bought over 2 new pairs of boots, but that's not the point)
Our awesome house is made of paper and has no brick walls, all just timber frame and plaster board, no double glazing and no insulation. So people WE ARE FREEZING. The only heating we have is what I call the hair drier.. on account of it is just blows hot (well you cant call it hot more warm and that's pushing it) air out of vents in the ceiling.
Our bedroom is at the end of the house with 3 external paper walls so it never gets hot, plus the bed is positioned under the vent so when the hair drier is off we get a nice stream of freezing cold air blowing down on us all night long.
In order to combat this we sleep in our jammies, socks, dressing gown, (newly added summer quilt or dooner as its known here to winter dooner) blanket and added dressing gown on top. The other night Sean took it a step further and wore 3 T'shirt's and joggers over jammies.
I thought about buying an oiled filled radiator and even suggested that to Sean a few months ago only to be scoffed at, (guess who asked for one the other day.... queue slapped head to Sean) As you know I am a little stubborn (shocked you haven't I?!) and I refused to give into the cold and do what I was told by my friend here to buy flannelette sheets and jammies.....after many mornings of waking up blue and trying to chip the ice of ourselves I gave in.......
People please don't disown me..... ....I bought flannelette jammies..... and not just any old flannelette ones, these have penguins on. See picture attached. I actually don't mind them but when I put them on for the first time my darling husbands first response was "What the hell are you wearing" then laughed, Charlotte laughed and sarcastically said "nice jammies" Ob didn't notice. Which I'm not sure is good or not.
Anyway who's laughing now.... I don't need socks on in bed now OR the need to wear my dressing gown as well, I actually was quite hot the other night and stuck my foot out of bed to cool down, but then started to get frost bite again so quickly retrieved it.
Sean however stays freezing in his 6 layers and plus can't lie on his left side due to suspected broken ribs) 

Yay me 

We went to Melbourne last week for a few days to celebrate putting up with each other for 12 years, (of very happy wedding bliss) I'd like to say I have lots of photo's to show you, but sorry I don't. I didn't take any of the beautiful docks, NONE of the amazing architecture or beautiful street art.
Nope, sorry... If you want to see any of that you're gonna have to rely on google.
I have a picture of the stupid (but oh so wicked silly shoes I wore out and walked 3km's to dinner in), the cocktails we drunk... and if you never take my advise on anything you all must try espresso Martini's. Please trust me (those who I worked with this isn't like the time I made those disgusting tasting but perfect looking trick cookies on April fools day) they are delicious and blow your socks off so wear more than one pair (and no silly shoes).
Apart from drinking cocktails and eating delicious food we visited the jail or as they call it the Gaol. It was really good, very interesting and very cold. We had the added bit of a jail experience. While we were lining up to be clocked in by the jail master I said to Sean he'll get picked on... and for sure he did, as we were segregated a few people were given a card to read out to say why they were in there, Sean avoided eye contact so naturally got picked. I was willing the jail master to pick me but sadly my "keen eyes" did not meet his.
Sean's crime was drink driving and he was called Rob Penton. We were all split up in groups (still segregated) and thrown in a freezing cold cell, then the lights went off.
A few silly women started to panic..... Not me, I was sitting there thinking the bench was quite cold on my bottom and wondering who would be the alpha in the room (too many evenings spent baby sitting years ago watching Bad Girls) having decided it would be me. I chilled out.
After time spent in the cell we then were lead out for recreational time. Old Rob was mentioned as it not being his first time here at the jail (he he). The men had a bigger outside space to stretch their legs than the women's area. (because we all know they are the naughtier ones and therefore more of them in jail at any one time) We got a chance to have our pictures taken in the jail which we are delighted with as its made Sean 6' and me 5'6" (happy days)

My only complaint with Melbourne and I'm writing to my good mate (he may not be yet but he will be) Tony Abbot our trusty PM here.
You see my problem is.... the pedestrian crossings...... they are NOT quick enough when you are wearing silly shoes - see attached (not really quick enough either wearing flat shoes and having little legs) We would only make it half way then the the man would start flashing (calm down ladies not a real man, the little man on the traffic light pole) so as fast as my actually not so little legs now I'm 5'6' would go in silly shoes I could NOT beat the flashing man. In true Maddi diva style I told Sean I'm writing to Tony about this. His response 'Ok, dear'.
Before we went to Melbourne we were told to travel the tram, you guessed it, we didn't. But they were pretty cool to see and hear them ringing their bells.
We were also told about hook turns... to turn right you have to go left. Confused? We were and even more baffled when we saw it happen. I did however get quite excited and did a little yelp when we saw our first one. 

It's only applicable in Melbourne and just baffling. Another thing to have a word with Tony about. 

Starting to freeze up here people so off to do some star jumps (it does work by the way)

Lots of love to you all xxxx

Ps went to Melbourne with 4 pairs of shoes and came back with 5. Yay me. Happy days

Exercise should come with a health warning

Why has no one told me about exercise .....and the fact it's a killer.... 

As I'm now only a part time lady of leisure I thought I'd maybe enjoy doing some exercise classes. So got myself a deal on line. $29 for 4 weeks unlimited access. 

Off I trot yesterday to my first ever spin class. (With I might add my Jack Wills bag bought for this purpose and matching water bottle, I know, get me!!)

Went straight to the back as that way I can keep out of sight (I thought) and also as I had no idea what I was doing it meant I could look at everyone else. 

Me in my primark joggers and vest top rocking the "I know what I'm doing" look (not) 

Trainers older than Charlotte.

Everyone was gently peddling so that's what I did, after 13 minutes thinking this is easy, and wondering what all the fuss is about. (Class yet to start) 

More people arriving and some alarm bells ringing when the 2 people in front of me put on their proper cycling clip on shoes.... 

WHAT!!!! 

Still peddling ... class now about to start. (I'm thinking I've done enough peddling time to go)

The instructor who seemed nice and friendly (helped me adjust my seat and told me hand positioning - which I'd forgotten as soon as she said) suddenly turned the lights off and she turned into the devil. 

She even had horns and a flaming pitch fork..

So the music starts and we're told to have it in any gear 6- 8. So I start off on 6 (its my first time you know and I'm nearly 30, have to take it easy ) she then starts screaming things that I have no idea what the instructions were, or even if it was English.

So I just kept peddling and peddling, and looking to see what everyone else is doing. 

After a few minutes we were allowed a brake "BUT KEEP PEDDLING LADIES" the devil roared. 

Then we're told we should be in a resting gear between 10 - 12. Hang on a minute what happened to the gears from 6 to 10. 

I realised then what ever the devil was screaming at us in the first few minutes was that we should be going up through the gears 

(A walk in the park this was not) 

So I up the machine to 10 and then we're told to stand up and "USE THE MUSIC LADIES" what for I do not know. 

All I could think about was whe is it gonna end, why is the lady in front on me going so fast, how is lady in front of me going so fast and why can't I hear what the devil is saying. 

I kid you not, the lady in front with her clip in cycle shoes and big fat bottom was cycling like her life depended on it. She would hands down beat Bradley Wiggins.

By now we're standing up, yeah, I thinking this is getting easier, wrong... you stand up and peddle "HANDS EASY" what does that mean? Then sit down when the music plays a whistle noise (at this point I started to chuckle because it felt a bit like musical chairs but obviously no one was moving) and also I thought it was a bit like speed dating (not that I've ever done it or will ever do it) 

Anyway .... After 7 minutes (yes I was counting and I'm sure the timer on my bike was wrong) we were allowed to cool down for a minute. But "KEEP PEDDLING LADIES" 

Oh I have to say that the devil is NOT on a bike too, oh no. She gets to stand at the front screaming while standing still. Surely that's a bit off. 

We're about 20 minutes in and lady in front is now starting to really annoy me, just because she's so damn fast her legs are going a million miles an hour. 

And we're now supposed to be in gear 14-16. I'm still in 10. (And struggling - ish)

I have a brief glimmer of hope when I look down at the bike screen and see that I've been peddling for 38 minutes, yay.... Not so... I was peddling for 13 minutes before class started, sigh. 

So with a lot more "USE THE MUSIC LADIES" and now me feeling a little lightheaded (2 crumpets before this mammoth effort not such a great idea) and a lot of "FEEL THE BURN LADIES' I managed to complete 45 minutes of spin class. 

Have to say the cold flannels they gave out at the start were a nice touch also very nicely scented I might add. 

Today I ache.... not in my legs but all across my back, whats that all about? Obviously not doing it right, 

Tonight I'm debating going back for boxing, body pump or body balance. Eeek.

Have a good day everyone. 

Federal Police.....

Good morning, afternoon here ..just.
Hope you are all well? I've been good and done all my chores this morning, tea is in the slow cooker so now only right I have 5 minutes peace to write to you all.

My actual drama this week happened Friday afternoon, like the subject suggests.....

I thought I'd have a relaxing day (for once) and I was sat enjoying watching a film and trying to curl unruly mop (one burnt finger later and mop in even more disarray) my phone rings and I see its Charlotte calling. Only it's not Charlotte on the other end its her friends saying Charlotte's fainted by the lake and they don't know what to do, my reply "don't worry she'll be ok'. Then I actually realised they wanted me to do something!
Right I'm on my way I tell them but warn them I'm on my bike as Sean has the car (Truck won't pass the roadworthy, another story there not today though)
TX Sean saying whats happened and jump on my bike, this time my sense of direction is spot on and I get to Charlotte where she is now spark out on the floor under a tree with 2 federal police standing crossed armed over her.
Hi I say, I'm her mum.
Comfort Charlotte who is a shivering wreck now and as white as a ghost, settle her down (ish) then get asked to step to the side by policeman number 2, took all her details and mine. I breezily tell them they can go now I can sort her out, I'm told the paramedics are on their way, panic sets in then thinking we might get lumbered with a big bill, of course I was concerned about Charlotte but she was OK!
A few minutes later the paramedics turn up and honestly the one that settled Charlotte down was amazing, calm, considerate, joking but very sensitive to her. Really nice guy.
Policemen number 1 still standing there with his arms cross looking cross, paramedic number 2 now talking to policeman number 2.
Charlotte's friend then asks the policeman number 2 if he's ever tasered anyone and they've had no effect, he reaches for his taser and said not yet but there's always a first, and then asked if she wanted to try it!
Paramedic number 2 asked me why we were here in Australia and I tell him about Sean working for Ikea, that's it then all care and attention off Charlotte and conversation about Ikea starts for the next 10 minutes.
When Sean arrived they treated him like a celebrity. They really did especially when he's in his nice bright yellow Ikea top. Hehehehe. (He hates it)
So anyway Charlotte is then pulled up while dragging half the twigs and branches from the nearby tree in her hair and is up and normal (ish)
Sean brings her home and I get back on my bike and pedal home. Thinking yay another story!!

I get home and I find Sean has invited a little friend in to play. (picture attached) I love this dog and I actually have renamed him puppy dog his real name is Buddy but he likes puppy dog better.
He lives across the road but is always escaping (he's not that well secured) and he's the one that ripped my dress last week after being LOST for over an hour (did you all remember that ?!!!)
He's such a lovely dog and we haven't heard him bark once yet. After lots of cuddles I thought I'd better take him home, no answer so I did think I'd better keep him but then thought better actually just put him in his back yard so I did.

While we're on the subject of 4 legged animals, I think we had a possum, rat, dingo, small person or crocodile in / on the roof.
Sat here Saturday night drinking prosecco and toasting the happy couple and Sean mutes the TV, I'm watching a film on my kindle (the one I was supposed to be watching Friday morning before Charlotte's drama, by the way was Equaliser and by the way is pretty pants) I get instructed to take off my head phones and listen.
Of course the first thing I do is shriek jump off the sofa then immediately jump back on it in case its a scary I'm listening too. (perfectly reasonable)
Then I hear it, a small scrabbling noise which is directly above us.
Sean jumps on the kitchen island and thumps the ceiling, and when I asked whats that going to do he replies quite shortly 'I dunno, what do you want me to do Mad'
So we stand there frozen to the spot, Sean on the island hand ready to thump the ceiling again and we wait and we wait and we wait.... there it is again,
I am shrieking by now and asking Sean will a possum punch its way through the ceiling. He replies 'probably" so I now have images of a possum invasion, not great and not what I want on a Saturday night or indeed any night.
My senses are now on over drive and I tell Sean that I can hear someone in the laundry room or something, so we both creep down there, at this stage its like something out of  horror film when you know the audience are shouting 'Don't go down there, idiots'
Sean throws open the laundry door and luckily no one and nothing is there (still just dirty washing but as least now my trick has worked and Sean now knows where the laundry room is at least!)
Back up to the living room and the scrabbling is still there, Sean is bored now and concludes its not a possum as apparently they make a screeching noise and as there is no screeching other than mine its safe to carry on drinking prosecco.
Images of scaries wearing hobnail boots filled my thought that night.
Sean then says "it was probably just an owl Mad"
"Er yeah right" I say.

Yesterday we decided to go canoeing, just me Sean and Ob, Charlotte was at the mall. So I suggest we go to the lake. NEVER AGAIN. Well yes again to the lake but canoeing with Sean NO. Now BIL and SIL will understand this as we have ventured out together once which was hilarious. But I have concluded that married people should not a) go to Mount Stromlo together and now b) not canoe together.
I row nearly every day in my spare room so I know I am of competition standard my husband how ever is NOT.
Ob was well away only having himself to worry about and argue with, while us on the other hand made the 30 minutes into near suicidal / murder situation. I was at the front and he obviously was at the back. I was on a roll happy to pootle along, Sean on the other hand spotted a boat about 3 miles (happy Sam, miles not KPH!!) and panic set into him and he started shrieking "Mad a boat, a boat Mad, row faster" So I row like my life depends on it, Sean is rowing the opposite side so we are going no where fast.
More screeching from Sean, Ob is oblivious as to whats going on, mainly because the boat was MILES away. It really had no need to blow its blummin horn we were trying to get out of the way. Sigh.
At this point I'm yelling at Sean that I'm going to jump in if he doesn't shut up, he tells me to carry on. I respond by telling him "I would if i wanted to so there"
(I'm sure you have all been in this situation haven't you?!!!!)

We then sulk and sit in silence for 5 minutes until we realise thank god the half hour is up.

Ob gets out his canoe when we reach the bank and says "that was awesome can we do it again another day"
2 NO's said in unison and we strop back to the car.

Sean then redeems himself by cooking an amazing BBQ but true to style leaves endless amounts of washing up for yours truly.
(Picture attached),

Right lovely people, that's all folks.

Have to look for a job now, I have applied for.............
 I think its almost reaching....... double figures
(just 6 more to go) hahahahaha


xxxxxx

PS
The other picture is from this morning when I went to the nature reserve for a cycle ride, managed to freak myself out by thinking scaries were on my back, a twig was a cobra (are those the ones that appear when you blow your wooden flute? Well that's what I thought it was anyway) and a tree stump was a roo waiting to pounce and punch me.
Sigh.

Investigating Crack

Morning lovely people.

Hope you're all well? 

Monday morning here and already as the subject says I've had dramas.

Thought I'd investigate Crace today or as my phone auto corrected to Sean the other day in a message "just heard crack is nice" 

Sigh. 

The funny thing is he just took it in his stride as if that's an every day quote from me.

Anyway I put the directions on my phone and jumped on the bike. Only the directions are rubbish. It tells me to turn right across some dirt land which I am NOT doing, I then get swooped at by a magpie and its not even October yet so I grumble under my breath at him, ignore turn right and carry on. 

Then the thing starts screaming at me turn left, sharp right I now look like I'm having an epileptic fit on the bike. Sigh. So I stop while the phone re routes and off I go. 

I'm on a roll I am whizzing I'm enjoying this until...... I realised the phone hasn't shouted at me in at least 3 or 4 minutes. 

Stop (again) and check phone I have no idea where I am, the phone has no idea where I am, more re routing. Finally finds me and tells me to go straight on.....to where I've just come from. Seriously I have passed the same 2 people walking their dog 3 times now. 

I stop again to re route and then off I go again, phone in left hand one headphone speaker in to hear phone and I'm happy...... 

I try to get past a group of bumbling women with of course a pushchair. Oblivious that I'm trying to pass them. Lake to the left so can't go left try going right at which point stupid woman on the end - we'll call her SW for short also goes right, so I go further right and so does she. 

Lady I'm on a bike lost and not in the best of moods move (I don't say) 

Emergency brake to stop as she is clearly not getting the point that I want to go around her not through her and her stupid squawky friends. 

I pass SW (eventually) to which she starts screaming 'where's your bell, where's your bell where is YOUR bell' 

Ignored and silently hope she falls in the lake.

I'm back on a roll, loving the breeze, enjoying the view of the Lake until this old man on a bike comes out of no where and blocks my path, WHHAAAT. 

He's so slow and is not getting out of my way (maybe I do need a bell) 

The phone now is also screaming turn left, immediately right. 

I cannot go IMMEDIATELY right as it's a wall stupid phone.  

Old man goes straight which is good and I then have to do a u turn to find the actual immediately right turn I was supposed to take.  Yay result, straight on for 1km I'm told. And relax...... until........ I'm on the golfing green. Apparently there are signs, apparently it's members only, apparently it's no bikes on the green. 

Head hung and off I peddle. How was I supposed to see the sign I'm too busy trying to find Crack!!!! 

Anyway I'm here, and sat in Guru but the coffee is awful but at least I'm here. It only took me 8 minutes longer to get here and 3 km longer than it should have so result (I think)

Getting home will be easy, I know exactly where I'm going 

There are no lovely restaurants like the radio said only a chicken pizzeria (how does that even work out) oh and a Supabarn. So after this email I'm going to mooch round supabarn.

Oh and people of Australia do not know what mooch is, I know this because I said it to someone the other day 'hey how you going, do you need any help' kind lady asks

'No thanks I'm just mooching' I say

'You're what' kind lady wonders

'Just mooching' I reply 

Kind lady 'oh, ok ... I think' 

I didn't really twig until a few minutes later. Never mind. 

Spiderman, Spiderman

Hey guys.

It's a pretty cool 26° here today, although it's quite over cast so hard to believe it's that hot.

I'm waiting for my very own spiderman to come, actually, hope he doesn't come dressed as spiderman as I'm not sure I'll be able to keep my giggles in, and REALLY hope he doesn't come as a spider. 
That would definitely freak me out. 
He's due at 3.15 apparently it takes an hour to do the house and the garden then we have to vacate for an hour. 
I'm going to ask him very nicely if he will do the whole street, and the next few and possibly the town while he's at it. 
After spending the night with someone Sean works with and her family on Saturday night I am definitely NOT cured of scaries.  
Her husband is ex army and has a very good sense of humour (even better when talking to a very frightened English girl (that's me by the way) 
Anyway what started him and all his delightful stories about the horrible little critters were his 2 boys, Ob and his friend went off to play football while waiting for the fireworks to start. 
Ob comes back after about 10 minutes and says 'he's just been playing with a bird eating spider' whilst pointing at the middle child of the people we were there with. 
I freeze, look for an exit (we're at the lake so it's not looking good) and generally think oh my god. Meanwhile the child who was playing with said scary is excitedly telling his parents. 
Charmaine (who Sean works with) then says 'don't be silly, those spiders are this big' and holds her hands up a good 6 inches apart to demonstrate to her son he is wrong. 
I look at her husband and pathetically ask 'she is joking right?' 
He delights in the horror on my face and proceeds to talk about them for the next 15 mins. 
I do consider at this point whether to jump in the lake or not.
He's telling me how many they have at their house, how he catches them, the different types, and then just to really make his day.... A bat flies over that is so big I actually think it's batman. 
I duck and yelp he laughs and laughs, I look up gingerly and see my husband is also in stitches. 
Grrrr. 
I gave them both a stern look that just resulted in more laughs. 
Must be loosing my touch..
I am fearing for my hair at this point as I'd actually gone to the trouble of straightening it, now I'm not sure if bats do dive straight for your hair but it what's I've been told so I stood in fear for the rest of the night.  

Talking of fearing for my life (this is getting a bit of a theme to it now isn't it) 
I asked Sean to put on an Australian plug on something, which by the way had a European plug going into an English adaptor of which I had been using into an Australian adaptor (keeping up?) 
Anyway the wires he said were not colour coded so could go 50/50.
He said it will be alright,  he said he knew what he was doing....
I said 'will it kill me' 
'No' he says
'Will it give me a shock' I ask 
'Maybe' he said 
Right so I've got this potentially life threatening devise in my hand and I need to check it works. 
Does Sean offer to plug it in?
NOT one bit.
Anyway I plug it in and straight away the thing goes bang, I shout a random little word that begins with P whilst dropping the thing to the floor. 
Turn to Sean and ask if he's trying to kill me. 
His response 'well that was 50/50'
So I'm not entirely sure if he meant he was / is trying to kill me or the fact the plug may or may not have worked. 
Sigh. Head scratch.

And what also gets me wondering is the fact that he asked me to go back to Stromlo (after this time I am definitely NOT going there to cycle again) 
He does track 2 again leaving Ob and I to do track 1, which apart from being shorter it's still a bloody mountain. (I know, I know, what do I expect) 
Maybe I have amnesia and that's why I forgot the first horrible experience?
And NO its not my age. 
Anyway Ob is front on his bike which still has no brakes but now he seems to like that fact (typical boy) so he speeds off I try and follow him...... 
To find that he's gone.... as in gone..... its 6.30 pm getting cool and also becoming witching hour. 

Queue rescue images in my head again.
So I back track along the single track the wrong way and hope I don't meet anyone (or anything)
I eventually get to the truck and hope Ob's there but he's not.
Gulp.
Not to worry... he'll be here soon .....
So I wait, and wait, and wait. And after about 25 minutes he comes pootling along and says 'I just nearly ran into the biggest roo ever' with extreme proud ness in his voice
'And did you realise I wasn't behind you' I shriek
'Yeh' was all I got. Apparently he did wait but then decided to carry on.
He then spots how he can get up to the jumps and off he goes (on his bike with no brakes)
Fake smile 'enjoy ... be careful'
As another biker passes me to do the same jumps as Ob in FULL body armour.
Queue the 3rd rescue program to be aired.

Luckily no one got injured (although I did hurt my knee if anyone's interested,  after coming down a stupid trail that abruptly corkscrewed right with no warning (I went straight into the rock)

Sean had a good time and beat his last time so he was chuffed.


So once again. I vow I'm am NOT going to Stromlo to cycle ever again.


20 mins till spiderman is here.  yay.


Love to you all and hope you're all well

Xxxx

Have enclosed a lovely picture of the magnet spiderman just gave me. I almost punched him in the face with fright. I had just told him I AM SCARED OF EVERYTHING.

To his question of what bothers you the most.  

Maybe he was meaning in life, perhaps I should have said it annoys me that no one but me knows where the laundry room is in this house and it annoys me I can't find anything in the supermarket, or the fact that it annoys me that we haven't got Internet yet. 

The last picture is of a bush fire, when we were coming back from dreaded Stromlo we saw 2 helicopters, one was getting water from the lake. Nothing was reported on the news so can't have been very serious. 

I hope 

Now at the library as banned from being in the house for an hour after spiderman sprays the garden. Hope he's not stealing my shoes. Gulp.

He did however advise the chemicals he's spraying will draw them out (them being scaries) but not to worry they die straight away...... Most of them, he then goes on to admit. 

After a week they'll all be dead. 

Yay, and I'll able to sleep (I hope)

The dreaded Mount Stromlo

I'm back in the library this time no coughing man and no slanty monitor or chair. I have my gorgeous daughter sat opposite me trying to her maths work and she keeps asking me questions, there are only so many times I can bump her off with 'why don't you work it out' or ask Google.

Maths is not mine or her strong points.

But I feel rushed at the PC clock is counting down and I'm conscious that I have so much stuff to look at, and there's only so much you can do on a tiny phone screen.

I have more to tell you about the moving day......

It turns out Ob pulled the red cord as apparently he wanted to see what it did, so he's the culprit of breaking the garage door, since then he's broken a zip on his school shorts, a zip on his new shorts and something else that I've forgotten. Thanks Son!!

Eunice / Yannus actually fixed the garage all I needed to do was press a button on the actual unit, so I didn't actually need Jim or Mo. Sigh.

Now the mountain fiasco...

Sean thought it would be nice to take us to Mount Stromlo. Its easy he said, enjoyable he said, you'll love it he said.

I can tell you now It's not easy, It's not enjoyable (well maybe a little bit) and I did NOT love it.

We rock up on Saturday after squeezing 3 bikes into the civic and get there where we see an endurance race is going on. I did have a little fist pump and think yes got out of it. But no Sean thought it would be a good idea to just to the playground bit.  Which was logs, see saws and various planks narrower than my bike wheel you're supposed to cycle across.

I did none of this just scanned for scaries. after about 30 minutes in here we decided to cycle on a bit, only we came face to face with the endurance race (a 24 hour one) now I like cycling but I could not do a 24 hour race, mainly because I couldn't do it in Will Smith time. Anyway we thought it probably best we try and get back to the car, fighting our way through the equivalent of the Tour DE France we made it back to the car. (the last time Sean and I went to Stromlo for him to cycle me to mooch there was a race on, so you'd have thought by now he'd look to see if there was anything on)

I suggested this and he agreed!

Any how we go back on Sunday. Up and out the house by 6.30 am.

We arrived and for the first time we get going. I'm on the Boardman which is an awesome bike, poor Ob is on my clonky old bike (with no brakes)

So after about 15 minutes I ask if we're at the top yet, the reply is short "NO"

great. We are literally cycling up the side of the mountain, single path (why would you do that) and its getting hot and its getting hard work.

Ob at this point is loving it as he can beat us all the steep bits. I am not enjoying this and have to admit at one point I had a little diva fit and screamed 'where is the lift down and why isn't this flat'

Sean replied quite simply 'its a mountain, what did you expect'

I expected it to be fun and enjoyable like he told me but I put my game face on.

Right so half way up and we get to stop and look at the burnt out old observatory which is amazing and has no graffiti at all and the views are stunning.

I'm trying to look for ways down but there are none, so up we go a bit more.

We eventually get to the top having been lapped by one hell of a keen man, (he had far too much energy for my liking and was a show off)

And then ask again where the lift is and where the flat road down is.

Hmmmm there is NONE. So we start the decent, having told Sean to go on as he knows what he's doing and he has the proper bike for this, he leaves us in a proper cloud of dust.

I got my bike ready and so did Ob and ......

We made it about 3m then got off, Ob has no bakes (if I had a dollar for every time he's said this I would be rich) he then has a little diva fit, and we walk down the first bit. Seriously we did.

It then flattens out a bit which is lovely apart from there is a single path rocks all over the place and we have no idea what we're doing. The advice we got from Sean was to stand up and put all our weight over the back tyre and only use 2 fingers to brake. Ob has no brakes so pointless him using 2 or 4 fingers, makes no difference.

Sean's pulled over and is waiting for us and he's so happy he's beaming like a Cheshire cat, I put my game face on and say 'yay' quite meekly, 'this is ok'

Ob is grumbling very loudly about how stupid it is and how he HAS NO BRAKES!!!!

Sean goes on further, so does Ob then me.....

I get to a clearing bit and don't see either of them, and there are 4 or 5 different routes to choose from, Great, I'm envisaging helicopter rescues, my hair being messed up and being on a TV show. But promising myself how ever long I'm up there I will NOT eat bugs.

I then see a route with a cross so decide to take that one, luckily that's the right one. By now there are several more people on the course and I pull over to let them pass, they are so quick I feel like I need to tell them to slow down because they'll hurt themselves if they fall.

I obviously don't.

This part of the mountain now has luge's, I'm not joking the same type that toboggans use. Christ I go into the first one and the back wheel is sliding out the front wheel is chucking me to the left. I am NOT happy. After about the 76th and me getting off to walk around them I'm ready to scream.

Game face on though.

We do eventually make it back to the car where after putting the bikes back in the car, Ob asks 'can we do that again tomorrow that was awesome.

"NO"

2 Min's left on the PC, time is ticking.