So picture this, Ob is already swimming around enjoying the water as its a bazillion degrees that day, we've walked to the furthest part of the river because I'm too much of a wuss to get in where the other 5 people were swimming. I'm like a jack in the box I think I'm ready so stand, then decide no I can't do it so sit down. Ob is offering me his hand and telling me it's safe which doesn't help as I think if that croc gets him, I really do have to get in and I will go mother bear on that croc. I then get a little braver, shriek at Ob to swim next to me to the other side (all of 5 metres) then I stand and literally throw myself into the river and swim like a dog to the other side. I'm panting like a race horse and quite literally my heart is coming through my chest wall its beating so hard.
I heave myself onto the rock like a beached seal trying get to get away from a whale and look at Ob and beam. We then explore the shallow parts all while looking for crocs, sharks and bullrots.
Happy ish that there are none I gingerly sit in the water and splash about.
After a few hours I'm totally at ease with the river and although still swimming like a dog there is less urgency.
So the other day when we went to the beach, I thought "I've got this "disrobed of shorts and top and boldly walked straight in to the sea. Watched by several life guards but I thought phah who needs you. Beach shoes on because I still can't go bare footed..... yet, maybe one day I will?
Walking boldly and bravely in to the sea I stop at waist height and do what everyone else is doing, leap and cheer and jump the waves. Well let me tell you, those waves are vicious. The first 15 minutes were fun, then I started to get dragged left, right backwards and forwards but still kept leaping and cheering like everyone else. Sean is further in and keeps looking at me extremely proud that I Maddi am in the sea past my ankles. Yay me.
I decide to get a little braver and walk in a bit. ... big mistake this massive huge wave came from no where, it was like the one from the Old Spice advert (remember that, dur, dur, dur. Dur, dur dur, der, der, der der)
I try and jump while cheering and shrieking but this wave is so massive it's takes me down, drags me half a mile at least before spitting me back up minus my sunglasses and bikini pants showing my bottom to the life guards. Epic fail. So no only now am I flashing to the the poor people on the beach I'm shrieking "My sunglasses, my sunglasses, MY suuuuunglasees"
Sean is now by my side looking at me with an expression that is clearly desperate to laugh but he wants to check my reaction first before hysterically laughing. So I beam at him and say "that was fun" whilst scrabbling to pull up bikini bottoms and hoping the life guards are looking else where. Sigh.
Stayed in there quite a while longer hoping my sunglasses would find their way back to me, but sadly they didn't or haven't. I only only assume there is a very cool looking dolphin out in the sea. Hmmmm.
News from the big blue box.
Customers don't appreciate being told to "limbo under the barrier", "follow the arrows but be quick they change every 10 minutes", and also my colleague who's name shall remain a secret does not actually like being called Sue. Now it's not my fault she has a face that looks like a Sue.
She looks at me with a confused and baffled expression every time I call her Sue. I can't now call her by her right name as in my head she's Sue. All I can say is, she's going to have to get used to it.
You can just about spot me, this was pre bottom showing. Sigh.
