From a driveway hitting to a piece of bread in just one week

Yes I know the title is a long one, I may change it. In which case I'll have to delete this sentence, which will be a pain as I'm on a roll typing but there you go. Who knows.
Last Monday I jumped in my beautiful little car and ever so carefully started driving off when all of a sudden this boy on a bike appeared from no where (well that's a slight lie, he snuck out from beside Sean's stupid ute that is supposed to be getting sold not looking like a permanent fixture on my driveway)
So as my bumper somehow managed to make contact with him and his bike, my first thought and don't shout at me was "OH MY GOD, IS MY CAR OK" you see I really do love my car, very very much. Then quickly thought oh my goodness that poor boy, relax, he wasn't on the floor he was still standing. Out I jumped and the poor mite was so apologetic, he was just as concerned about my car as I was. I told him not to worry while sneakily trying to see if there were any marks (just a brush mark from his trousers so all good). As I asked him a hundred million times if he was ok, he kept saying yes while apologising and asking if my car was ok. Clearly he has good taste in cars too.
Then, I spotted headphones IN HIS EARS. So I shrieked "are you listening to music" "I was", he started to stutter back "I'm not now", on a roll I barked "it's not safe to do that, turn it off, off off off"
All I could think was this poor boy isn't much older than Ob and I felt so bad, I did of course make sure he was ok and felt alright about continuing his journey to school on the blinking pavement. He said he was fine, but I suspect all he wanted to do was to be left alone and have a little sob.
My lesson learned that day was shout at Sean some more to sell the ute as he was parked in my space, if he hadn't I would've seen that poor boy and therefore not made ever so slight contact with his leg and my beautiful little car.
Now, my new job is fab, 2 days I basically float through what I'm doing while staring at 2 screens pleading that one day it may all make sense. The other 3 days I'm with really lovely clients. So lovely in fact I spent 2 hours with one and have no idea what language she was speaking. The 3 words I managed to get out of her were Hungary, surfboard and fish. Make of that what you will.
She seemed to laugh a lot as well, so maybe she understood me? I really have no idea, but she was a lovely lady and can't wait to see her next week.
My other outstanding client actually walked away mid conversation last week and I was left standing in her kitchen wondering what had happened. Every time I see her I expect some one to jump out with a camera and scream "surprise" (I'm so convinced of this I wear good clothes on a Friday. ... well you never know) after realising she had walked off mid conversation I felt some what hysterical and laughed all the way home. The first week I saw this client she wanted to give me a jar of peanut butter, I politely refused but said my heartfelt thanks, the second week she thrust it in to my hand as I was leaving and then slammed the door (no joke) in my face. This week I'm given a piece of bread wrapped in cling film as I'm leaving while we're talking about the Brexit and telling me to celebrate how ever the verdict goes.
I'm not sure if the bread was part of the celebration or she is over the weeks slowly giving me a sandwich / pack lunch. Watch this space I guess.

Maddi Ali

Hey people, as we morn the loss of a great sporting hero Muhammed Ali I feel it's only right that I have my first boxing class at the gym.

With the words from the great Muhammed embedded on my mind 'Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee' I was pumped and super ready to go throw some punches. I persuaded Charlotte to come with me but only if I promised not to laugh at her. Which of course I did with my fingers crossed behind my back. 

So we rock up to the gym and it's heaving.... I've never seen it so full, when I go at 5.30am (yes get me 5.30am, smug smile!) It's quiet. So a little panic starts to creep up, but I'm super pumped so can't let this deter me. I spy the instructor getting the gloves out so off we go along with luckily only 6 other people. 

We're made to stand in a line facing the mirror and told to run on the spot. Cool, no problem with this so I'm happy running on the spot till we're told to run faster and with high knees. Well, in my error I made the mistake of looking at Charlotte in the mirror and she looked like she was being electrocuted. I started laughing. The harder I tried to stop the more I was laughing. She caught on and started whining 'Stop it mum, stop it' so then I felt bad and concentrated on the weight bench instead which helped. 

We're then told to partner up, yay we get to start punching each other. Charlotte chooses the pads while I choose the gloves. We start off by punching for 30 seconds straight in front then we go to uppercuts.  Half way through Charlotte starts shrieking 'Your arms mum, your arms' so I'm shrieking back while throwing left hook right hook at her 'What's wrong with my arms'.

She hollers back while I'm now uppercutting 'They're so muscly, look at them' 

I'm too busy ducking and weaving I haven't got time to study my arms and besides which I'm punching so hard poor Charlotte is actually moving quite quickly to the other side of the room which makes her start shrieking again 'Mum, stop it, you're so strong, your arms, stop mum STOP'. 

We then have to swap, Charlotte manages around 30 seconds then flops her arms to the side and says she can't do any more. 'PUNCH' I yell, 'PUNCCCCHHH' 

When we get to the next excercise she keeps the gloves and has to punch the mits starting with 2 then going up to 20 then once to 20 back down to 2. In between each lot of punches she has to run to the other side of the gym while I do burpees. .. are you keeping up? 

I'm not sure what Charlotte was taught in her maths class when she was younger but she clearly can't count, either that or she was cheating. We got up to 20 punches by skipping 16 and 18 then down to 2 missing 14, 12 and 10. 

When this was done we had to swap so I was yet again punching her and she had to do the burpees, I only saw her do 1 burpee the whole time I was punching then running. (She's blatantly a cheat like her dad!!) 

The next excercise is squats while punching, easy peasy yes? Not for my darling daughter she had an awkward gait and looked quite frankly like a hunch back (minus the dribble) and that made me laugh again, we also had to get on all fours opposite each other and crawl to each other for a high five then crawl back, not really sure if this was anything to do with boxing but it made me chuckle and made Charlotte almost cry as she was aching so much. Also not sure about the walking squats we had to do to each other for a high five, but it amused me so all good. 

A quick glance at the other 6 ladies and they are sweating profusely and very red in the face, Charlotte is ready to drop and showing signs of weakness on her face meanwhile I'm still ducking and weaving and getting in the zone. All I really needed was the Rocky music and a skipping rope and I'd have been sorted.  Maybe I take that for the next class? 

It's time for a cool down now, a few quick stretches which yet again makes Charlotte shriek in agony and me laugh some more and then we're dismissed but not before Charlotte shouts a random bye to someone that wasn't saying good bye to us.