For about a year I have been "encouraging" my darling son Ob to cook for us on his day off every week. After all, he is classed as an adult now and I feel like it should be a nice thing to do for Sean and I. Right?!
Well, let me tell you how it's been going. The first week many many moons ago he cooked us one pot fry up, only this fry up didn't have beans, sausage, mushrooms, hash browns or bread on the side. What it did have was 1 rasher of bacon and 1 egg, yes you read that right. ONE rsaher of bacon and 1 egg. Well I think it was an egg, I mean there was egg shell all over the kitchen and on the floor, so surely....
Not wanting to crush his spirits I told him it was the best meal I'd ever tasted, and continued for the next 3 weeks until I finally had to be honest. "Ob can we please have something more substantial than 1 rasher of bacon and deconstruced egg" (Worked out now the egg is fried) he resisted and utter a few heavy sighs and eyes rolling but finally agreed. I was imagining all sorts of marvellous creations, maybe a bit of colour, ooo maybe some fish, maybe even some pudding. Erm ...... NEGATIVE ... we had that evening, wait for it... ONE rasher of bacon, ONE deconstructed fried egg AND a sauasge, from memory it wasn't even a whole sausage but 1/3 of a sausage. Holey shit balls. This kid.
The following week, we went back to bacon and deconstructed egg but this time, we had TWO rashers of bacon. Well actually I can't even be sure one of mine was bacon it resembled a pigs ear, you know the ones you give to a dog. He assured me it wasn't and that it had just been cooked longer than the others in this one pot. I then had to remind him the law of the kitchen, anything that goes on the floor automatically ends up on dad's plate (this is universal around the world, right?!!!) anything that potentially could be raw, on dad's plate it goes, anything burnt, anything remotely looking like anything other than what it should be..... on dad's plate. So why I was given the 'pigs ear' I have no idea. Sigh
Several weeks went past where he managed to dodge this delight (not sure who was happier with this, us or him) the frequent "Oh I ate at lunch time so I'm not hungry" routine was used on several weeks, where funnily and quite miraculously he gained his appetite back as soon as we were dishing up. Until a gentle reminder via tx from me "Ob you're doing tea and no we don't want a fry up" so on this one occaion he pulled out all the big guns and we had BURGER, with lettuce, tomato, CHEESE and a deconstruced egg (of course). Literally felt like Christmas!!
Up until a few weeks ago he's managed to dodge again. But 2 weeks ago we were given the surprise of our lives... the surprise being........................................................................... we had chicken ..... far out, bet you're as surprised as we were. Well wait, when I say chicken I mean chicken, just chicken.... he had brown rice, I don't eat rice, Sean had a small amount, again normally a non rice eater. If you're also thinking it was a whole chicken breast, you'd be sadly mistaken. I had 1/3 , Sean had slighly more and Ob sat there with a whole one. (had to save some for his lunch for the next day you see) I was determined not even to add a thing to my measly 1/3 of chicken breast, not even a grain of salt.
I told him it was the best, yummiest meal I'd ever eaten. Using reversed psychology here, one day it's gota work surely?
Fast forward to last week where the chosen meal of choice was indeed a good old 1/3 of a chicken breast. But this week I had to add a smidgen of sweet chilli sauce, mainly because Ob had bought it and I knew it would annoy him. To say he's tight with his money is an understatement. (As you may well be able to tell now)
The annoying thing is, not being given the portions a 6 month old would eat, not that Ob makes more mess than a whirlwind passing through a small village, not even the fat that's splattered all over the walls, floors and bench top.......
Nope.
None of that.
The annoying thing is
I haven't taken any photos of any of the meals 😣
