Mad English girl Down Under

Flicking through keep notes on my phone and I just came across this blog, not sure why I didn't finish it, maybe by some small rare chance I slept (yeh I doubt that too) anyway it's just a short funny little snippet from out fight back to the UK in 2023) Enjoy, but don't get comfy, you'll have it read in 5 minutes xoxo  Sean just had the audacity to say "you seem highly strung" I'm not sure what gave him that idea, the fact I've only had 3 seconds sleep, the fact I worked out before our 24 hr flight back to the UK, the fact I've drunk 4 glasses of bubbles, 1 vodka & diet coke (all important diet not full fat coke) plus 1 miniature bottle of wine, and in between I have had a 10 minute nap where he proceeded to tell me I looked like this (cue someone mouth wide open asleep looking gormless, that's a word that needs to be used more often) or that I've verbally attacked the guy behind me, look attack is strong I merely asked him to STOP KIC...

 My friend of almost 20 years very kindly met me from the airport, however, not my communication error but almost certainly 100% his, he thought when I said I land at 6.05 am I would indeed be springing off the areoplane into his arms at 6.06am.  I warned him several times over the 9 months of planning it would most likely be nearer 7.30am by the time I got off, got luggage and make it through customs. not my fault he chose to ignore that vital piece of information. So out I spring to my beautiful friend who hasn't aged a bloody day and the last time I saw him was my wedding 18 years ago, me needing a small Sherpa plus donkey for my luggage and we embrace less than a millisecond before he's rushing me off in a lift as he has to be at work at 9am and the hotel he's booked for me is 90 minutes away and the same for him to get back to work. He then announced he spent all night at the airport Incase the plane came in early and he missed me (I have no logical reply for that to b...

  I flew myself (well look I didn't fly the plane, merely I flew back by myself but that doesn't sound as fabulous the real way around) back to the UK, yes go me. Of course I was not over the weight limit before I even left Australia, and of course I knew exactly what I was doing and what time all my flights were. To pick up the story, this is how the flight from Singapore to the UK went ..... 3 wines in and I  think my "partner" is dead. No joke, he hasn't moved for the last hour and his head is on his chest. Should I raise the alarm, should I maybe check his neck for 2 seconds like they do in the films, no one ever surely gets a pulse that quick in real life, right? We were getting on so well, albeit the no eye contact. Jeez that bugs the shit out of me. But look he's my flying buddy for the next 13 hours so I'll give him a break. Plus he's a fellow Uk/ Aussie hybrid like me. So practically besties. My other bestie who I actually got 3 vodkas out o...

Who doesn't like a bargain?! Well I always do, but only if it benefits me. For example BOGOF on steak would not be a bargain for me, BLEUGH. But a chiropractor appointment with spine alignment AND free massage for a few dollars (the exact amount is not important, you get a free MASSAGE, that's the important part) worth it hey. Of course I googled it before I went, thank you trusty Google, some what knew where I was going (as if) and off I trotted after work with a skip and a leap. Finally I was going to be rid of stupid lower back annoyance and be able to finally do a back flip.  So, turns out that this Chiro place was indeed just in someone's garage, look, they had a fancy desk and some fake plants so it felt some what professional, the plastic chairs socially distanced, again some what professional. But what wasn't professional was that the 2 people that went in before me ..... who may I add were only in there for less than 10 minutes were put through some sort of tor...

   For about a year I have been "encouraging "  my darling son Ob to cook for us on his day off every week. After all, he is classed as an adult now and I feel like it should be a nice thing to do for Sean and I. Right?! Well, let me tell you how it's been going. The first week many many moons ago he cooked us one pot fry up, only this fry up didn't have beans, sausage, mushrooms, hash browns or bread on the side. What it did have was 1 rasher of bacon and 1 egg,  yes you read that right. ONE rasher of bacon and 1 egg. Well I think it was an egg, I mean there was egg shell all over the kitchen and on the floor, so surely....  Not wanting to crush his spirits I told him it was the best meal I'd ever tasted, and continued for the next 3 weeks until I finally had to be honest. "Ob can we please have something more substantial than 1 rasher of bacon and deconstructed egg" (Worked out now the egg is fried) he resisted and utter a few heavy sighs and eyes roll...

  Bushwhacking and that's no euphemism  I got offered to go on a "Bushwalk" with a friend from work and his family, I'll be honest I did think I would make up some fantastic excuse on the day or the day before and decline but then the thought of being out and donning some fitnees gear took over, so I agreed.  I should have thought something was off when I asked him if I'd be back in time for pilates at 5pm (yes get me I'm an avid pilates go-er now, I'll write about that on another post. He assured me we would "Probably be back for 5"  We agreed that we would meet in Tharwa car park as from there in there's no signal and lets be honest I would have got lost if I hadn't follwed him. I'll set the scene, I wake up at stoopid O'Clock and it's -4 degrees, Still ever hopeful that as I live in Australia it will indeed be at least 26 degrees later in the day. (Nearly 7 years of living here and I'm still not used to the freezing win...

Puppy class take 3 and 4. Week 3 saw Boomer, Daisy and Nora. Poor Bella was sick we were told.. or was she still being a little shit? I'm not judging but I needed Bella there to make Boomer look good. Boomer sang his little heart out pretty much all the class and when he was "quiet" he was allowed down time. He was struggling to get down like a box of crickets trying to get out. Poor boy he just wanted to play with his mates. Nora still won't sit on the floor and Daisy still goes rag doll. So no way as interesting as our singing wriggling Boomer. I may have been getting a bit cranky and sending angry vibes to puppy lady. Week 4 and we were told all about worms, ticks and having them de sexed. Puppy lady even let us look at some ticks in a little pot where we all ooohed and ahhed in admiration. Not sure what else you say or how else you're supposed to react?? Sean unfortunately (or fortunately couldn't make him. He suddenly had "a meeting" in S...