Mad English girl Down Under

Thought I'd treat myself to a massage so I kept a beady eye on good old groupon and bought one the other day. I was quite hasty to buy it because I'd been sent an extra 20% off, didn't really read the full advert as like I said I had an extra 20% off. Checked it was local, tick. Check the valid until date, tick. Checked code number tick, bought deal tick. Last week when I booked it I read it properly....... FULL body massage...... Gulp. I only wanted my back sorting, but thought it couldn't be that bad. Surely. When I eventually found the massage parlour it looked .... very much like erm a "massage parlour" you all know what I mean. Neon lights flashing, seady curtains draped over every inch of window. In I go and announce my arrival, scan groupon code and get asked "what massage" I'd had a quick chat with a friend at work and he said a remedial one is better as they get all the knots out. So that's what I asked for. I got shown to my be...

Normally I'm really good with names, apart from calling my darling daughters boyfriend Ninja instead of his real name of Nigem, I blame this on my mum in law as she stayed with us for 6 weeks recently and she thought that was his name. I have offended this poor boy unintentionally several times of which I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to share with you lot yet. Sigh.  It's not bad by the way just me being me. (Which isn't a bad thing, I'm happy in my own little world.)  Back to topic,  there is a lady in the department next to mine and her name is Sue. Well actually her name isn't Sue but that's what I call her. She looks like a Sue and as I've called it so many times I now can't call her anything but Sue.  So picture this every time I walk through her department (desperately searching for a way out ..... still unsuccessful, double sigh) I holler out with a beaming smile and a wave "hi Sue". She looks at me and then looks b...