No down time for Boomer

Puppy class take 3 and 4.
Week 3 saw Boomer, Daisy and Nora. Poor Bella was sick we were told.. or was she still being a little shit? I'm not judging but I needed Bella there to make Boomer look good.
Boomer sang his little heart out pretty much all the class and when he was "quiet" he was allowed down time. He was struggling to get down like a box of crickets trying to get out. Poor boy he just wanted to play with his mates.
Nora still won't sit on the floor and Daisy still goes rag doll. So no way as interesting as our singing wriggling Boomer.
I may have been getting a bit cranky and sending angry vibes to puppy lady.

Week 4 and we were told all about worms, ticks and having them de sexed. Puppy lady even let us look at some ticks in a little pot where we all ooohed and ahhed in admiration. Not sure what else you say or how else you're supposed to react??
Sean unfortunately (or fortunately couldn't make him. He suddenly had "a meeting" in Sydney.Yes that old chestnut. Funny how this meeting sprung up after we were told in week 3 how we were going to get tested on our training with our pups. Sigh. So Ob came with me and Boomer behaved very well, just a little bit of singing, he was so happy his mate Bella was back. She felt the same way. When allowed to play they rushed to each other and snuggled.... well a bit like the fox and the hound really. Or in truth they piled in to the other 2 and bulldozed them like a ball rumbling along the skittle alley. We of coursed looked the other way and made no eye contact with Bella's mum and dad!!!

I was extra chuffed and quite smug when Bella had to have time out, although I don't think it was justified, so she was hanging off Daisy's neck, Daisy shouldn't have put her neck in Bella's mouth. Simple as.
Boomer was quite distressed when Bella got snatched away from him so showed his annoyance by chasing Nora all through the legs of everyone. Her mum did not look impressed.
Boomer showed puppy lady that even with sneaky hand and sneaky leg he will NOT lie down. Is it that necessary? I mean he can lie, he does enough of that through put the day and night whilst snoring proudly.  But he can sit, wait and sing so he's doing good.

I could have done with him sleeping as bit more this weekend.... I had the audacity to go out for a few hours and look what I came back too.....

 But when I asked him, he said it wasn't him and I have to believe him, how could this face lie?

He also found a great hide and seek place!!!

#rainbowfamily adventures part 1

After a year of talking about it, ignoring the fact and stressing about it (how on earth are we going to pay for this and oh my goodness we're doing a massive trip to America how do we fit every thing in) the day finally arrived to leave. 

Not without issues.. do we Uber. Do we taxi. Advantages to both, Uber cheaper but at 4 in the morning would anyone really be awake? 

Would either car be big enough. 

Get Charlotte to take us....  After the first experience in her car not likely

So we drove and left the car at the airport. In true Sean style we were there before any staff but luckily for us the doors were opened so we weren't left out in the cold. 

Sleepy already and with that "I know I haven't got explosives or knives in my luggage and even though I packed it myself what if... just what if drugs managed to find there way in" apprehension. We stood and waited for our friends to arrive. 

All checked in and Qantas lounge ready we hit the floor running. Coffee all round and food for those who could eat at 5am. (Not me I was still trying to perfect my L.A. body) 

Not much time there before we were boarded and landing in Melbourne (so much quicker than driving and when I told this to Sean all I got told was "but it's cheaper" enough said.

Qantas lounge hit again... more bubbles and again for those that wanted - food. I could get used, to this lounge malarky. Boarding called and we were off. We had the back of the plane (don't get me started on that) friends upstairs (lucky buggers). 

The question "drink of choice" is always asked on every flight. Even though we know the answer already, mine is always rum and coke and Sean, always vodka and coke. Occasionally he'll have a whiskey but more often than not it's vodka. 

Settled in for the 13 hour flight, photo taken as that's what I do at the start of every flight and ...... we're off. Sean is asleep in less than 30 seconds and Ob is the same. I however sit and sit and sit and wait for sleep to take over, like it does when I'm at work or in the car (and yes some times when I'm driving) But it didn't come, well if it did it was a burst of 30 seconds and no longer. Grrrr. But it was ok I'll sleep on the 5 hour flight to New York right??

Wrong. No sleep for me then either but at least Sean and Ob had another 5 hours (not mad at all) 

After hitting the lounge again In L.A and meeting Super's sister Taters (yes that is her real name) we landed in New York. Wow I love that place. It is honestly amazing. Hard work but amazing. 

Bags dumped after... wait for it, the best bit... Arriving in STYLE in a frikken limo. Yes we hired a limo. It was cheaper than hiring a Uber or taxi what ever. As you remember Sean my darling husband likes to save money. So there we were met by Lil Wayne, probably not his name but he was small and looked like a Wayne (kinda) in the back of the limo drinking the duty free vodka that Tristan had the good sense to put in his checked bag from duty free but didn't have the good sense to tell his mate to do the same. A very lucky baggage checker was going to have a good night on that vodka (enough said, not bitter or grumpy at all) Luckily Lil Wayne stocked the back of the limo with Ginger Ale but didn't stock it with quite enough so the vodka mix was about 80/20. Plus Super was pouring and that's never a good idea, between her and Sean you get pissed on one drink. 

Andy Whitby blasted out from the speakers and we were balling. No sunroof though so we couldn't do the full wind through our hair down the highway (mind you with my bouff that was probably better) Got to the hotel, bags dumped, shower and make up applied in 5 minutes and to Tonic we headed. 

Oh by Christ, I thought the last time Sean and I were it was an unforgettable night (literally... too many Times Squares) This time was a brand new level even for us. We did start out quite tame, Times Squares x 5 all round. Then maybe another round then possibly a third with a side of wings and chips (I think) I still hadn't got my L.A body so refused to eat. Then suddenly a bloody bong comes along (I blame Super, she ordered it and made us all do it) ok so not a bong but a Hooka thing. I can't even remember what the flavoured was, all I know I did not like it and I could not blow smoke rings despite me trying and despite me looking like I was having a fit. 

Shots were now appearing on the table but I had the good sense to pass on mine and give them to the next nearest drunkard who happened to be Sean. Taters took a few as well although she put up more resistance than Sean. 

At some stage we decided to leave, also after trying to work the bill out and why we were charged an extra $150 bucks for some thing we didn't order, luckily sober Ob was with us. Lots of moaning about the tip that's expected and assumed, actually that was the theme most of the holiday and down right annoying. I'm all for tipping if the service was great but when it's expected that annoys the shit out of me. 

Some how between leaving there and what happened next is a bit of a mystery. there are 6 different stories. the crux being Ob and I walked back to the hotel alone. Sean started talking to some random toothless homeless gangster, Tristan disappeared, Super challenged the artist guy that drew her and Taters, but with good reason, as drunk as I was, not one of them had a donut on their head. But from that experience I have realised that I could become a street artist. 

People are so drunk that you can draw what you like and they love it (except Super didn't, and she also didn't love the $20 price, but paid it as Taters was being yelled at across the road ...20 bucks, yes 20 BUCKS as she was at the ATM) 

They have their own story about what happened next, all I know is that when I woke up Sean was beside me fully clothed and looking worse for wear. No face tattoo's or tigers in the bathroom luckily (well not in New York anyway) 

Part 2 to follow....

Yeh baby LIMO time 

Quite normal here hey. 

The Hooka thingy

(also not sure why all the pics went red, Oh Tonic you are a crazy place) 

After leaving, and yes that's Sean's happy face 

See.... who had a frikken donut on their head?? 

Sean was most concerned about Super as you can see. 

Oh and for those that wondered Tristan did turn up, not sure where he disappeared too, not sure he even knows. 

#rainbowfamily 

Puppy class take 2

All week we have ignored Boomer when coming home, spied him out of the corner of our eyes looking devo (devastated for non Australian people) and genuinely unloved and sad. As soon as we say that first hello my goodness it's like the cork of a champagne bottle being cracked open. Like a room full of toddlers on skittles, like a 1990's rave (sigh, miss those days.... as I sit here typing away while Andy Whitby plays on trusty Google home and every so often having to get up to have a dance, of which Boomer is NOT impressed.. Calm down puppy my dancing aint that bad)
So the ignoring goes well until we say hello then he remembers he has lovely sharp pointy sharp teeth that he just has to use.
Unfortunately he hasn't met a fish, horse or a man with a beard. So no boxes ticked there in puppy class take 2. We all 4 meet a little more sheepish this week and definitely NOT carrying puppies like they are Simba this week. Bella's mum greats us with "She's been a little shit this week" my reply "He's been a nightmare" we part ways when in the room and sit furthest away from Bella. Well if she's being "a little shit" I don't want her antagonising Boomer.

Daisy turns up late because she rolled in her own poop and had to have a bath. Oh Daisy, who does that, and seriously, man up Daisy. Nora arrived looking uneasy at the sight of tiles again. Oh Nora stop being such a bloody princess.

We were told this week how to get them to lie down. Surely this would be easy... Bella is up first and she kinda manages it, but puppy lady had to use "sneaky hand". Before all this she shows us how to do it on Hairy McClarey (fake dog but when Boomer see him he has other idea's, especially when it looks like puppy lady is giving Hairy treats he is NOT impressed.
Sneaky hand is if they don't lie from sitting you encourage them to come to the side of you with the treat and tease them to the floor to lie and just as they are near the floor you gently use sneaky hand to encourage them to lie on the floor. Sounds simple doesn't it.  I was sure Boomer would ace this. Think again.
Bella had to have sneaky hand, Nora up next "But she doesn't like the tiles" whined her mum, enough's enough now lady, man your dog up. Nora couldn't manage it because of the tiles being too cold on her bum, she barely sat but still got a treat as apparently puppy lady said it made contact for a spilt second.
Daisy's up next, well, she's so docile and gentle as soon as she was on the floor she laid down, now hang on Daisy you little show off. You don't just do that with out sitting first you little cheat. Even though she did look cute she followed it up shortly afterwards by weeing... C'mon Daisy what is it with you and weeing?

Big dog Boomers turn now. Sitting there nicely singing and straining to get down, I was sure he had this in the bag. After all watching the other 3 try and do it, surely he'd have worked it out.
He gets a treat for sitting ... (of course he does, puppy lady we told you last week he has this in the bag) now comes the lie bit... or rather here doesn't come the lie down part. Even with sneaky hand Boomer will not lie down, and yes puppy lady he has got that "Staffy stubbornness" Thank you for saying it half a million times, I think the group gets it.
Daisy is looking on smugly, Nora is trying not to have a panic attack by looking at the tiles, and Bella is clearly sat there coming up with some plan and adventure to entice Boomer into trouble.

As it stands now, Boomer will not lie down with or without sneaky hand and no matter how many pats, praise and treats you give him, sneaky hand doesn't work... wonder if sneaky foot will?? Must check the homework sheet for that.

They aren't given much puppy play time this week which didn't please Boomer, I name that song in... sigh. Well I say they're not given much play time, 2 aren't. I wonder if it's because one dog dragged the another dog across the room by her neck. Now I'm not mentioning any news but Boomer and Bella were sad to watch the other 2 playing. Oh Boomer.
Puppy lady assured us it was ok and that's why puppies have loose skin, she reiterated it by showing us Bella's as she pulled her away from the jaws of a certain Blue Staffy.


Homework this week is to practise lead training and to keep them on a lead when they go to wee outside. I draw the line at this. I think Boomer has got the idea, he stands by one door to be let out and goes to the other side of the house to be let in. My dog's got brains. Not sure how I work that out but he's gorgeous and so cute.
However, I say he's got brains.. had to write this on the chalk board the day after he was awarded with 1 day no accidents...

Sigh

He was NOT impressed of makeshift bed

Bed #2 had to be binned as full of wee and someone ripped the stuffing out and chewed a massive hole in it. Oh Boomer. 

No this isn't Boomer on the sofa watching TV

(please don't tell puppy lady) 

Look at this face, how can you not love him. 

Bed #3, waterproof russly as heck, annoys the crap out of him because he cant scrunch it up into a ball and it's too tough to bite a hole in...... for now 

Nora's got no fluff

After having a dog with ISSUES, and I mean ISSUES, we thought once bitten twice shy and all that we'd get try and get it right this time around with our new beautiful darling puppy.
Enrolled in puppy class and studied all the necessary do's and dont's (there weren't that many but sounds like we were taking it seriously)
Turned up and met with Bella the Frenchie, Daisy the Labrador and Nora who actually turned out to be a miniature Schnauzer and not a Sausage dog. (I'd have like her more if she was) The Kelpie who was on the list clearly couldn't complete with the standard of dog and thought it best not to turn up.

We all get out of our cars carrying said puppies like Mufasa carrying Simba (literally) all so proud and look at my dog he's best type thing (of course they all know Boomer is best) into the puppy room where for an hour and a half we are talked at about how these puppies have to know their place, bottom of the pile, end of the line, lowest of the pecking order, beneath the kids... Ok lady calm down we get it.
Don't let them in bed (no of course not) don't let the on the sofa (no way lady, never never) don't let them go through a door before you (as if) don't greet them first (seriously lady have you not looked how cute Boomer is), don't let them chew (what.. now c'mon lady, do you even know your stuff). So after about 30 minutes of being told how to basically Sargent Major your dog, oh and for all of this 30 minutes Boomer has been crying and scrabbling to get down from Sean's lap or mine they were eventually allowed to play.

It was like a free for all, worse than Primarni at Christmas, more hideous than peak hour in NYC and more chaotic than an 18th birthday party.
At first of course there was a lot of butt sniffing and everyone thought awww how cute, then they all became a bit braver. When I say all I actually mean just 2.... The fact that Daisy and Nora were "sleepy" aided Bella and Boomer to command the whole floor. At one stage there was a pile on with Daisy on the bottom, then Nora followed by Bella and of course King Dog Boomer on top. Puppy lady said on several occasions "There's that Staffy playfulness" exactly. Boomer is just playing.
Time out was called by puppy lady when Nora's mum said "Excuse me, she's got her foot stuck in his mouth" Puppy lady separated the 2 and then said "It's ok she's just got some fluff stuck in his teeth"
Nora has no fluff lady but thanks for the vote of confidence in our boy!
Oh Boomer.

Daisy is a bit of wee-er. Enough said. Nora apparently doesn't like tiles. (ok princess calm down) Bella is as cute as a button but I do feel she's leading Boomer astray.

Puppy lady spent about 30 minutes training us to train them to sit. (Still having to hold 7.7kg, struggling, crying Staffy) I actually wanted to tell her, look lady we've got this. Boomer learnt that in less than 5 minutes. (he's treat motivated... no he's not greedy, he has big paws he needs to have treats and to be fed 4 times a day) but I resisted and sat there smugly after the other 3 struggled with the basic command. Boomer was last to be "shown" how to sit, as soon as he saw that treat in her hand his butt was cemented firmly and well and truly to that floor. YEESSSSSS Boomer well done buddy.
He was sitting even before she reached in her pot for another one. Lots of jealous vibes from Daisy and Nora's family. Bella looked on whist-fully and also in awe at her partner in crime.

Another time for play, this time all but 2 a little more braver (not mentioning any names) Boomer and Bella decide to just pile on and bulldoze the other 2. Bella at one stage darts under the row of cages in the vets room and teases Boomer and taunts him until he squeezes his fat arse under there too. (that of course is a typo, I mean his muscular derrière) The other 2 breathe a sigh of relief I think as do their families then like the bullet train out hurtle Boomer and Bella and dive bomb straight on the other 2.

Time out again puppies. Oh Boomer, Oh Bella.

Nearing the end of class and we are all given an A4 double sided sheet of homework which includes.. Brushing your puppy, checking their ears, put them on their stomach to get them to know we're boss, sitting skills (ticked that box already), mat training, meeting people to include people wearing a helmet, people in clothing other than a uniform? what the?? people in wheelchairs, loud confident people and men with beards (what about women with beards??) also meeting babies. Goes on to say about smells, surfaces to walk on and experiences... watching people, crowds, motorcycles, trains and tasting a variety of foods. So Boomer will it be Chinese or Indian tonight?
Meeting other animals... Friendly dog (am glad they put that and not a miserable grumpy dog), cats, rabbit, horses, goats fish in tanks (hey Boomer this is a fish in a tank) oh and chickens. Sounds .. yes he has to have sound experience and a list of objects to play with.

Which is all very bloody lovely but puppy lady listen I have to work 20 hours a week and Sean works 155 million. When am I going to find the time to introduce Boomer to a fish and a horse and also the small problem aside from that he's only just had his last injection and is still under house arrest for another week.

This is NOT Boomer on the sofa. 

Nor this 

Look how good he sits. 

LATER THAT WEEK.... 

Good boy Boomer 

I've got 99 problems and the puppy is one .....

On top of my incredibly hectic life, working 20 hours (erm yes that's a week I'll have you know) and yes that is enough ( I actually have 2 jobs now so there, none of which are particularly fab so lets leave it there. I am as always looking and applying for everything, except those that have declined me or that I've already had the misfortune of working for prior. (although my old company offered me a job and then when I applied for it told me I was unsuccessful... how does that work??)
I have this week applied for 9 jobs. A record I do believe. Oh that's not including applying for the job I currently do, that one I've now applied for 3 times and been given it twice only to be then told I can't have it because I don't have Permanent Residency. Ha .... but now I do so can I have the job I asked my bosses boss.... erm "No Maddi HR have said you have to apply again.
 Queue tantrum and hair flicking ... no of course not at my bosses boss. I contained myself until I was in the stair well. Sigh.

The stair well by the way is a great place to hide and do stretches and to contemplate things... until some one else turns up then you look like a wally doing heel raises on the stairs because you have such bad calf cramp. (because I'm a super athlete remember)
I could lead on from that and say I am in fact retiring from the gym but if I put it in writing I may actually have to commit to that and that would make me sad. Bugger I did just write it. Hmmmm would that stand in a court of law? Would it even make a court of law? I'm not sure I have shoes suitable for court .... every cloud hey (queue shopping trip tomorrow to purchase such shoes.... well just in case) So the reason I maybe might have said to Sean about retiring from the gym is because I keep hurting myself. After stuffing up my back my silly hip flexors and glutes decided they needed a turn at being an idiot. So after weeks of being in pain I finally went to a physio who had great delight telling me "you're stiff as a brick and your posture is like a duck" I beamed and thanked him. I was less impressed when he was knelt behind me and asked me to touch my toes... not because I couldn't but more because my bottom was then right by his face. He didn't seem to mind as he asked me to do it 3 times. On the third try hey guess what .... I touched my toes, and it didn't hurt more than 7/10.

He had me on the floor doing stretches which hurt like buggery and he gave me no sympathy and then on my back with his elbow in my groin area again telling me "my god you ARE tight, I'll soon loosen you up" I wondered at this stage if the person in the next bay with his poorly knee was actually thinking he'd step into the wrong sort of "sports massage place"
True to his word my physio did loosen me up and proudly announced "There you go I've freed you up loads, now lie on your stomach while I get to work on your tight glute"

Going back tomorrow for round 2. Yay.

Leading on from the title, I always get distracted don't I. I could list all my 99 problems but that would just look like a shopping list and quite frankly boring, so I'm just going to let your imaginations run wild and think of all the problems you think I have, times it by a gazzillion and you're still way off.

But let me talk about my number one problem... my brand spanking new puppy dog... why is he a problem ... well apart from pissing and crapping in my house after I've just been standing in the garden for 30 minutes pleading with him to go "wee wee" and totally trying to destroy everything in the house like the non slip rubber from around his bowl, my slippers, my dressing gown... he's just too darn cute. I can't get any work done because all I want to do is cuddle him and tell him how beautiful he is and what a good boy he is.
I sat on the freezing cold tiled floor for 2 hours the other day because he looked comfy sat on my lap and I didn't want to disturb him. Luckily I had the fore sight to keep my phone handy so I could take a thousand and one photos of my beautiful puppy sleeping.
I worry about him all the time, is that ok and right that he's sniffing that leaf, oh crap now it's in his mouth, can he jump the 6 foot fence yet to get to the annoying kid on his trampoline, he's standing in my flower bed.... aww how cute .... crap he's just bitten a hole in the irrigation system Sean spent loads on and surprised me with the other day. Even though there's no snakes in my garden what IF..... there is one under my decking... isn't he amazing he can climbed the steps now... crap he can climb the steps, what a good boy carrying your bowl to your bed.... oh flip ... now his water bowl...no I'm not going to let you on the sofa .... ok so we'll have one 5 minute cuddle then you get down... yes peace at last... shit, where's the puppy.

We all have to work and go to college and this puppy dog cannot be left. It's like a military operation working out who will be home for Boomer. He has a crate which he actually does love but what if he gets upset in the 2 hours that he's left for... no one's there to tell him how beautiful he is.

How cool is his name, he of course knows it and comes running every time I say it.
A quick few facts about my gorgeous new puppy dog
1. He is mine and only mine, apart from when I don't want to be chewed, don't want my things to be chewed and don't want to keep telling him to stop chewing
2. He is the best puppy dog
3. He is the most gorgeous puppy dog
4. He is a little chunky for his age and may have been 1/3 bigger than his siblings when we got him
5. No he's not a fat dog... he's just bulking
6. So he took 3 hours to be born.. my first child took 4. There's no rules to this.
7. He took 3 hours as he may have got stuck coming out of his poor mum, the vet of course was too polite to say.
8. He's mine (did I already say that?)
9. He is totally and utterly loved and very much wanted
10. He is a nugget

I'm sure he will get used to his collar and not just keep freezing when it goes on, we have to get him used to it other wise Nora the sausage dog might laugh at him next week at puppy class. He's in a class of 5. I think he will have his eye on Bella the Frenchie, she'd better not distract my boy. Boomer is going to be top of the class I just know it.

SEE, look how beautiful he is, now you can understand why I can't get anything done, and look how comfy he is on my lap. Yes I know I look shite, 2 hour toilet checks for said puppy dog will do that to you.

(and yes out of all his array of toys the plastic bottle and burger box is his favourite, and of course he doesn't have his own shelf of treats, blankets and more toys. The fact he has 2 beds and a cushion to choose from to sleep on is perfectly normal!)

No smoke without fire

You know how I love a good drama, love a good suspense and love, love, love a good gossip. Well unfortunately this time the drama was real.

Sean left for work and there I was merrily mid tx to my bestie in the UK. Ob had just crawled out of bed and stumbled quite literally into his shower.
Split second later the smoke alarms is blaring, as I casually get off the bed I notice a very bright glow from the office. As soon as I got to the door I could see the flames and it was a sight I don't want to see again.

To cut a very long story short, throwing wet tea towels does not help an electrical fire, but what does is shutting all the doors so it doesn't spread and burn your whole house down. After running back in the house and doing this oh and also turning off the shower, in my head I was thinking I didn't want to waste water, yes I know there was a fire and in the room right next to the shower. I also grabbed the blanket off the sofa as in my head I was thinking Ob would be cold (it was about 30 degrees out, so don't ask me what was going on. I was panicking and didn't even grab my beloved Marc. It was frightening so frightening. All in all it took 12 fireman and 3 engines to not only stop it but due to the chemicals in the battery they had to make sure it was safe.

It was a joy seeing all the neighbours staring and taking pictures on their phones while I stood there in my stereo typical black satin dressing gown, it was literally what I had on when I heard the bang, Ob, poor kid was just in his boxers. The bouff was in true madness and I didn't even have the proverbial hairband on my wrist, sigh. My pervy neighbour next door did ask if I wanted to wait in his house and after politely saying no thank you, he then told me about his broken washing machine for 10 mins. How wonderful.

I did have another wardrobe choice when Sean came back (frantic screaming down the phone "the house is on fire" the choice being my swimming costume, that we'd left in the jeep the day before, did debate it but then figured proverbial dressing gown gown was slightly better.

Yes before all you girls ask, there were some good looking firemen, not that I was checking them out, merely just observing their hard work. Hats off to each and everyone of them. Truly worth their weight in gold, silver and Marc Jacobs handbags. 6 weeks on, we are 1 room less, all Sean's gadgets including computer, laptop, cameras etc and watch less. The house stinks less now but still prevalent, every where is still sooty and the insurance people work less days than Father Christmas it seems.
Moral of the story ... don't charge lithium batteries EVER.

 

Luckily we were home other wise everything really would have been burnt to a crisp. 

It really is worth checking your smoke alarms guys. It was the most frightening thing I've experienced. Even more than the first haircut I had here in Aus.