I have this week applied for 9 jobs. A record I do believe. Oh that's not including applying for the job I currently do, that one I've now applied for 3 times and been given it twice only to be then told I can't have it because I don't have Permanent Residency. Ha .... but now I do so can I have the job I asked my bosses boss.... erm "No Maddi HR have said you have to apply again.
Queue tantrum and hair flicking ... no of course not at my bosses boss. I contained myself until I was in the stair well. Sigh.
The stair well by the way is a great place to hide and do stretches and to contemplate things... until some one else turns up then you look like a wally doing heel raises on the stairs because you have such bad calf cramp. (because I'm a super athlete remember)
I could lead on from that and say I am in fact retiring from the gym but if I put it in writing I may actually have to commit to that and that would make me sad. Bugger I did just write it. Hmmmm would that stand in a court of law? Would it even make a court of law? I'm not sure I have shoes suitable for court .... every cloud hey (queue shopping trip tomorrow to purchase such shoes.... well just in case) So the reason I maybe might have said to Sean about retiring from the gym is because I keep hurting myself. After stuffing up my back my silly hip flexors and glutes decided they needed a turn at being an idiot. So after weeks of being in pain I finally went to a physio who had great delight telling me "you're stiff as a brick and your posture is like a duck" I beamed and thanked him. I was less impressed when he was knelt behind me and asked me to touch my toes... not because I couldn't but more because my bottom was then right by his face. He didn't seem to mind as he asked me to do it 3 times. On the third try hey guess what .... I touched my toes, and it didn't hurt more than 7/10.
He had me on the floor doing stretches which hurt like buggery and he gave me no sympathy and then on my back with his elbow in my groin area again telling me "my god you ARE tight, I'll soon loosen you up" I wondered at this stage if the person in the next bay with his poorly knee was actually thinking he'd step into the wrong sort of "sports massage place"
True to his word my physio did loosen me up and proudly announced "There you go I've freed you up loads, now lie on your stomach while I get to work on your tight glute"
Going back tomorrow for round 2. Yay.
Leading on from the title, I always get distracted don't I. I could list all my 99 problems but that would just look like a shopping list and quite frankly boring, so I'm just going to let your imaginations run wild and think of all the problems you think I have, times it by a gazzillion and you're still way off.
But let me talk about my number one problem... my brand spanking new puppy dog... why is he a problem ... well apart from pissing and crapping in my house after I've just been standing in the garden for 30 minutes pleading with him to go "wee wee" and totally trying to destroy everything in the house like the non slip rubber from around his bowl, my slippers, my dressing gown... he's just too darn cute. I can't get any work done because all I want to do is cuddle him and tell him how beautiful he is and what a good boy he is.
I sat on the freezing cold tiled floor for 2 hours the other day because he looked comfy sat on my lap and I didn't want to disturb him. Luckily I had the fore sight to keep my phone handy so I could take a thousand and one photos of my beautiful puppy sleeping.
I worry about him all the time, is that ok and right that he's sniffing that leaf, oh crap now it's in his mouth, can he jump the 6 foot fence yet to get to the annoying kid on his trampoline, he's standing in my flower bed.... aww how cute .... crap he's just bitten a hole in the irrigation system Sean spent loads on and surprised me with the other day. Even though there's no snakes in my garden what IF..... there is one under my decking... isn't he amazing he can climbed the steps now... crap he can climb the steps, what a good boy carrying your bowl to your bed.... oh flip ... now his water bowl...no I'm not going to let you on the sofa .... ok so we'll have one 5 minute cuddle then you get down... yes peace at last... shit, where's the puppy.
We all have to work and go to college and this puppy dog cannot be left. It's like a military operation working out who will be home for Boomer. He has a crate which he actually does love but what if he gets upset in the 2 hours that he's left for... no one's there to tell him how beautiful he is.
How cool is his name, he of course knows it and comes running every time I say it.
A quick few facts about my gorgeous new puppy dog
1. He is mine and only mine, apart from when I don't want to be chewed, don't want my things to be chewed and don't want to keep telling him to stop chewing
2. He is the best puppy dog
3. He is the most gorgeous puppy dog
4. He is a little chunky for his age and may have been 1/3 bigger than his siblings when we got him
5. No he's not a fat dog... he's just bulking
6. So he took 3 hours to be born.. my first child took 4. There's no rules to this.
7. He took 3 hours as he may have got stuck coming out of his poor mum, the vet of course was too polite to say.
8. He's mine (did I already say that?)
9. He is totally and utterly loved and very much wanted
10. He is a nugget
I'm sure he will get used to his collar and not just keep freezing when it goes on, we have to get him used to it other wise Nora the sausage dog might laugh at him next week at puppy class. He's in a class of 5. I think he will have his eye on Bella the Frenchie, she'd better not distract my boy. Boomer is going to be top of the class I just know it.
SEE, look how beautiful he is, now you can understand why I can't get anything done, and look how comfy he is on my lap. Yes I know I look shite, 2 hour toilet checks for said puppy dog will do that to you.
(and yes out of all his array of toys the plastic bottle and burger box is his favourite, and of course he doesn't have his own shelf of treats, blankets and more toys. The fact he has 2 beds and a cushion to choose from to sleep on is perfectly normal!)
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