Bullet dodging

I'm currently sat on a log - yes I am actually sat on a log in the day time and I'm under a tree and dare I say not freaking out. 

Of course I'm scanning for scaries and I've just flicked an ant the size of a small cat off me but so far all is good. 

I'm at the pump track with Ob. There's 3 little bits to it and yes you can probably guess it, when we arrived it was empty, now every lady, dog, child on a wooden trike thing that I'm not sure even has round wheels as all he's doing is screaming and throwing himself on the floor, has joined us. There is a lady on the track with her lovely Pendleton looking bike with baskets rear and front shouting loudly about how much fun this is and how we should all look at her. 

Hmm special comes to mind.

So, yesterday Ob asks if I'd like to go on a bike ride (he has a new bike with ...... brakes!!!! To say he's chuffed is an understatement not just because the bike has brakes but it has suspension and everything, I know this because the whole hour we were out he talked about NOTHING else) Anyway.... 

Ob took me on this ride that I would say is maybe the cousin equivalent to Stromlo  .

Him on his new (with brakes and suspension) and me pootling behind. He assured me he knew where he was going (he did the ride the day before with Sean. 

All was good, he took me up these hills that were like Everest, him way out in front and me gasping for breath behind. But all good. We came across a black lizard and after a 5 minute debate on what we should do the lizard clearly annoyed with the fact we didn't just pass, mooched off on its own accord. (Google then confirmed yes it was a black lizard) phew. Thanks again Google.

I then get asked do I want to continue or go home, I pleaded home. 

So down we go. Jeeze it was quick, the bike was rattling I was rattling. Ob NO where in sight. Until we eventually meet up. Carry our bikes over 6 logs, I guess Aussie equivalent of our cattle grids? I felt like I was training for tough mudder or something. 

I then ask Ob if he still knows where we're going because we didn't come this way to start with. He assured me he did. So after hauling our bikes over these logs and then barb wire oh and climbing over the barb wire ourselves I ask again. "Do you actually know where we're going" 

"Yes mum of course I do....... I think its this way" Still gasping for breath I decide to trust him. 

So now he tells me we are in Mulligans Flat which I know bikes are only allowed on 2 tracks, (its a nature reserve so bikes are restricted but hikers are welcome to go pretty much anywhere) we've been on both tracks and the one we were on yesterday wasn't one of them so I had my suspicions that Ob didn't actually know where we were going. 

We then come across a very angry BIG roo I would say about 5 feet away. "It's OK" Ob says "he's behind the fence"

Oh yes Ob .... the 3 foot fence..The blummin roo bends down and looks like the right leg is going to start kicking at the ground to get some speed up. 

Me screeching to Ob "you do know they can jump don't you" 

He just laughs and cycles off, 

With one eye on the roo and one eye seeing in what direction Ob has cycled off in I follow.....

We come to a gate...... with a lovely big sign saying "No access to Mulligans on these dates 13th, 14th, 15th, 16th and 17th of ........ APRIL. Between 6am and 6pm. Due to rabbit culling and the use of shot guns is highly likely" personally I'd say most definitely likely wouldn't you?? 

We now have 2 choices to go back the way we shouldn't be or to go on the way we shouldn't be. Either way we SHOULD NOT be in Mulligans. Sigh.

We agreed to go on, there was at this point NO paths just forest, trees, twigs disguised as snakes, stumps disguised as roos ready to pounce and punch and leaves disguised as scaries. NOT good for me and my bone rattling bike (which I only found out today that my suspension was turned off hence why so rattly, blame Sean for that one, he rode it last coming home from work... took him 2 hours, thats another story though) Ob was in great amusement when he saw the suspension was off. Glad I have my uses I guess. 

Anyway.... so, we're on no track like I said and we come across 7 roos, all equally as annoyed at seeing us as I am to be lost in Mulligans. Both bikes skid to stop, I'm hoping a scary doesn't run over my flip flops (see how equipped I was!) and then Ob says 'It's ok the closer you get they'll freak out and run" and yes they did .... in every  direction and across our path, its a wonder there wasn't a pile up between us and then. The expression rabbits in headlights most definitely was in full force yesterday. I am by now literally screaming at Ob 'Have you any idea where we are' 

He simply sighs and says 'yes its just over there' 

So not only am I now dodging roo's, scaries, twigs, snakes AND lizards I am now dodging bullets (not that we heard any but thats not the point) 

I'm having to duck under trees around trees, over trees just to get out, Ob is having the time of his life (he has brakes and suspension now!!) We find the gate that leads to the actual bike track, haul our bikes over (well I haul them while Ob grumbles that I just knocked the TYRE on the gate. 

I point out the sign to him again and all I get from him is "oh" 

So we're lucky to be alive, I think. He then asked if I want to do it again tomorrow. 

You can guess my reply. Double sigh.  

 

Oh and is it ever good in an interview when the guy comes back hands you your license and says "now theres a photo you don't want sharing around' 

Hmmmm. Thanks for that.