This year we learnt about crossing the road to a countdown and diagonally. You could actually cross in any direction we just wanted to do diagonal because we never have and it felt odd let me tell you.
We waited for the first countdown to go as we weren't sure that 30 seconds was enough time to get across the road.
While we were away we thought we'd go clubbing, as Melbourne is known for being hipster and cool much like ourselves we thought we'd dust the old white gloves and glo sticks off and party like it's 1999.
So, after much deliberation and several minutes spent googling "Best place to party in Melbourne" (I discounted the swingers clubs it came up with and hid Sean's truck keys...... just in case) tried googling "Clubs that play Melbourne bounce" (for those that aren't as cool and hipster as us you need to find out what you're missing) still my search was blank, Google must have been having an off day, I get it, it's hard being Google.
So then we decided we would go to a night club at the casino. Now this casino was ginormous. It was airport size and that's no lie. There were so many people there it was just incredible. (Also a lot of shops with security staff and things with no price tags so we avoided them as we travelled light and had no room for extra goodies)
Started off the evening nicely with my favourite drink Espresso Martini, not the best I've had but still not bad. Sean had a whiskey sour which confused me as he normally gets an old fashioned and after sitting there puzzled for about 30 minutes I asked "Why is your old fashioned frothy and the wrong colour" "Because it's not an old fashioned Mad, it's a whiskey sour" I was told with a sigh. Ooops
Not that we were clock watching or eager to get our groove on but we were keen to get to the club, after trecking through the casino (step counter through the roof on this night) found the club and hmmmm...... the promoters / bar staff / randoms were still putting out the flyers.
But how ever there were 4 people queuing and as we were excited to be out and wanted to show how cool our dance moves were we went and lined up. Besides it was 9.40 pm and it was supposed to open at 9.30 pm Cleary was going to be the best night club, after all like they say "Good to be fashionally late" After 10 minutes of waiting and oh my new awesome shoes that I paid $40 for but saved myself $35 as they were in the sale hurt me like I don't know what. Putting on a brave face though I didn't tell Sean, as "No Sean these shoes won't end up on my shelf like all my other shoes, I will wear these all the time"
So girls you'll sympathise with me, hey maybe some of the boys will, I had that burning feeling on the soles of my feet and it was bad but still we were 5th and 6th in the queue surely not much longer to wait.
I have to admit I was getting a little cranky and trying not to think that it's actually bed time and the fact that my feet were killing me.
It got to 10pm and we were finally let in, ID shown (not for age purposes unfortunately but I think more for security reasons) picture taken, bouffant behaving so I gave my best sultry smile to the camera, probably looked constipated but hey ho.
Then we were released in to the club ....... and this is what we faced...... the cloakroom, and then a few chairs and the dance floor. All in all the whole place was the size of our front room.
But wait, where do these stars lead to, surely the main dance floor. So we got our drinks which cost a fortune and then went to sit and observe. What we observed was the stairs then being cordoned off and also the seating along the side walls and by the dance floor also cordoned off...... because this was VIP. Just the seating not the stairs. Just to make sure us non VIP tried to sit on the seats they had polite signs saying VIP AREA ONLY.
Still we had our 2 random seats by the toilets so we were good and finally I got to sit down.
Straight away the dance floor was pounced on by a very hyperactive man, either that or he was fitting. Or maybe being stung by a swarm of bees? He was clearly enjoying himself so good on him.
The next 2 people we see, both single men of around 60 years old and that's being kind.
I take a side glance at Sean and I can tell he is NOT impressed. So I beam at him and say "It will get better" while doing a little sitting shimmy. As if that was going to help?!
Not long before we get joined by someone else...... a lady in a wheelchair, and then before you know it another person has joined the dance floor..... a guy in a wheelchair.
This is not going down well, we were promised a night with a dj and some awesome tunes. Instead we were listening to Flo Rida and felt like we were at a retirement village afternoon tea party.
We stayed a couple more minutes but when I was told "Mad I can't cope with this" I had to jump off my comfy stool and stagger out as best I could without giving the game away that my feet hurt.
I secretly think Sean was jealous of how good the people in wheelchairs were dancing compared to him.
The offending shoes
The old fashioned disguised as a whiskey sour and my Espresso Martini
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