Monday morning drama's

Monday morning here and already as the subject says I've had dramas.

Thought I'd investigate Crace today or as my phone auto corrected to Sean the other day in a message "just heard crack is nice" 

Sigh. 

The funny thing is he just took it in his stride as if that's an every day quote from me.

Anyway I put the directions on my phone and jumped on the bike. Only the directions are rubbish.  It tells me to turn right across some dirt land which I am NOT doing, I then get swooped at by a magpie and its not even October yet so I grumble under my breath at him,  ignore turn right and carry on. 

Then the thing starts screaming at me turn left, sharp right I now look like I'm having an epileptic fit on the bike. Sigh. So I stop while the phone re routes and off I go. 

I'm on a roll I am whizzing I'm enjoying this until...... I realised the phone hasn't shouted at me in at least 3 or 4 minutes. 

Stop (again) and check phone I have no idea where I am, the phone has no idea where I am, more re routing. Finally finds me and tells me to go straight on.....to where I've just come from. Seriously I have passed the same 2 people walking their dog 3 times now. 

I stop again to re route and then off I go again, phone in left hand one headphone speaker in to hear phone and I'm happy...... 

I try to get past a group of bumbling women with of course a pushchair. Oblivious that I'm trying to pass them. Lake to the left so can't go left try going right at which point stupid woman on the end - we'll call her SW for short also goes right, so I go further right and so does she. 

Lady I'm on a bike lost and not in the best of moods move (I don't say) 

Emergency brake to stop as she is clearly not getting the point that I want to go around her not through her and her stupid squawky friends. 

I pass SW (eventually) to which she starts screaming 'where's your bell, where's your bell where is YOUR bell' 

Ignored and silently hope she falls in the lake.

I'm back on a roll, loving the breeze, enjoying the view of the Lake until this old man on a bike comes out of no where and blocks my path, WHHAAAT. 

He's so slow and is not getting out of my way (maybe I do need a bell) 

The phone now is also screaming turn left, immediately right. 

I cannot go IMMEDIATELY right as it's a wall stupid phone.  

Old man goes straight which is good and I then have to do a u turn to find the actual immediately right turn I was supposed to take.  Yay result, straight on for 1km I'm told. And relax...... until........ I'm on the golfing green. Apparently there are signs, apparently it's members only, apparently it's no bikes on the green. 

Head hung and off I peddle. How was I supposed to see the sign I'm too busy trying to find Crack!!!! 

Anyway I'm here, and sat in Guru but the coffee is awful but at least I'm here. It only took me 8 minutes longer to get here and 3 km longer than it should have so result (I think)

Getting home will be easy, I know exactly where I'm going 

There are no lovely restaurants like the radio said only a chicken pizzeria (how does that even work out) oh and a Supabarn. So after this email I'm going to mooch round Supabarn.

Oh and people of Australia do not know what mooch is, I know this because I said it to someone the other day 'hey how you going, do you need any help' kind lady asks

'No thanks I'm just mooching' I say

'You're what' kind lady wonders

'Just mooching' I reply 

Kind lady 'oh, ok ... I think' 

I didn't really twig until a few minutes later. Never mind.