Yesterday was Christmas day as I'm sure you all know and don't need telling.
We have I guess you'd call it a tradition where no presents are put under the tree until late Christmas eve.
This year is no exception, once the kids are in bed I go and get all the presents from their hiding place which I think is universal all over the world, from the wardrobe, right? The miraculous thing is that I, like every other mum I believe, seem to manage to hide all the presents into the smallest of hiding places. Feeling good and chuffed with myself and remembering (or so I thought) all of the hiding places I then can relax. List checked for the millionth time that yes everything I've bought is wrapped and I have bought enough presents.
So Christmas morning comes along and the stocking are dragged in to our room by the children (yes I know they're now 14 and 18 but they still get a stocking)
We then break from tradition and go straight to the tree to open presents. We agree to 2 then breakfast then more presents but we end up doing 3.
Breakfast is a leisurely affair now we have a hot Christmas we eat outside.
Back to presents. Ob was in charge of dishing out presents which he did very well until after about 15 minutes he says 'Why hasn't Charlotte opened any presents' 'what I shriek, she has' I look at Charlotte and she's all quiet and says 'I haven't opened any more'. Out comes trusty list and I'm looking for Charlotte shaped presents under the tree and there are NONE
But not to worry I run to the wardrobe which is now a walk in robe don't you know, so this is where the trouble begins. There was only so many presents I could hide in the robe, what with both birthdays and Christmas so I had to improvise. I knew I had some in the garage but I'd checked there 5 times and they were not there. Checked the suitcase in the robe, nope not there. Sigh.
Slight panic begins to set in while Sean and Ob are laughing while Charlotte sends a group tx to her friends saying " charming, mum's lost my presents"
Sean then decides to help and checks the robe that I've already checked 4 times and the garage now 6 times. Spare room checked, nope not there, TV unit in the family room, nope not there.
Back to the tree to see if they had magically appeared there and they hadn't. Back to the robe I go again and they still haven't appeared then, just as I'm about to really panic I spy one of the moving boxes in the corner Sean's side and then the old light bulb goes on and YES I remember now .... I attack that box like a woman possessed and there they are sitting all pretty and just waiting to be put under the tree.
The ironic thing is that we'd been telling Charlotte she wasn't getting any presents now she's 18 and then for that to happen ... well, I thought it was funny.
Another tradition of ours is that we always go for a Christmas day walk regardless of weather and we smile for the camera and make it look like we're not freezing cold or soaking wet. This year because it's so boiling we excused the kids and Sean and I went on our own. Before we leave Sean asks "shall we put the gammon (or ham as its known here) on Mad" "No" I reply quite smugly it only takes an hour and forty five minutes we can do it when we get back, we won't be long"
Sean looks at me confused and asks "are you sure it doesn't take longer Mad? "
Of course I'm sure I shriek back, Jamie told me (I talk about Jamie Oliver as if he's my best friend, I wish he was, or at least a friend)
I thrust the Woolhworths magazine at Sean and say look here it is, in big letters ONE HOUR AND FORTY FIVE MINUTES COOKING TIME.
Sean then reads with great concentration on his face and turns to me and says "Mad, you're supposed to marinade the meat over night, then bring it to room temperature for 30 minutes, then cook it for ONE HOUR FORTY FIVE MINUTES, then rest it again for 30 minutes"
Bugger, Are you sure" " Yes Mad" I'm told.
Hmmmm.
Epic fail, at this rate we wouldn't be eating until 5 and we were due to go to our neighbours at 6 who were also cooking for us. Gulp.
So we get the meat done with all the fancy ingredients including star Annise I might add plus Chinese five spice (get us) decorate with sprigs of Rosemary that sadly Jamie I have to add were not fresh from our garden (with no snakes!) Chuck it in the fridge, which I must say is so big I have to empty at least half of the fridge out to get this ham in (which on closer inspection is supposed to feed between 16 and 20 people) head to the lake for our Christmas day walk. Which by the way was lovely.
I have to say though Jamie the meat did not take ONE HOUR 45 MINUTES it was well over two and a half but because we're mates I'll let you off.
So lessons learnt yesterday was to write on trusty list where presents are hidden plus read the instructions properly including the small print on all new recipes.
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