It's that time of year again when 3 of the 4 of us go and have birthdays all within a week of each other. Crazy right, but the more people I talk to the more I hear other people are just as stupid!
I could firstly tell you about the birthdays but in truth 2 of the 4 of us were poorly on 2 of the 3 birthdays. So that's not what I'm going to do.
Instead I'm going to share with you my wonderful cake creations.
In my head and I blame a lot if not all of this down to bake off, they make things look easy and when I'm watching it I sit and shout at the telly how hard can THAT be, (amongst other unprintable things)
So the theme this year for Ob's cake was some weights. How hard can that be right? In my head as all my creations are, they are marvellous, fantastic and look exactly how they should do. Sadly in truth they end up with me getting the hump and turning the air blue.
Like I said this year I made some cakes to look like weights. I was actually prepared this year and made the sponges about 2 weeks before. I thought I was on a roll. Sean buys the black icing and away I go. Only it's not away I go. The icing wont roll, it sticks to the bench top and has now made my wooden rolling pin have bits of black embedded in so it looks mouldy now. Sigh.
I managed to sort of get it on to one of the cakes while grumbling very loudly while I might add Sean lays on the sofa being ill. He dares to glance over and timidly asks if I want help. So I scream back at him I didn't and how can this be so hard whilst also screaming I am never doing this again. (I feel at this stage he is praying I don't).
With one of the cakes covered in black icing that is now white from me rolling it in icing sugar I turn to the next "weight" only it won't stay propped up against the other one like it's supposed to be doing in my marvellous creation. So more very loud grumbling and a few tears (of anger) and Sean drags himself over. "Don't touch anything" I'm screaming "I don't want your germs" he props himself up and looks at the cake and this is why he should get husband of the year "It's not that bad Mad" Of course I don't accept his lies and scream even louder.
Let me tell you making letters out of icing is NOT easy either and no matter how many times I could not get it right. As I'm writing this I'm debating over sharing my photos as I don't know if I can risk not causing any one an injury as you fall off your chair in hysterics.
By now I am over this cake (Aussie for fed up, had enough etc) so I resist throwing it at the wall and cover it with a tea towel ready for the big reveal to Ob. Secretly hoping the tea towel will some how magic away my marvellous creation and leave a true to life one)
It doesn't happen sadly, on presentation to Ob my marvellous creation I take a sly glance at Charlotte and I proudly hand over the marvellous creation like Mufasa did with Simba the Lion King and she is struggling to hold back the giggles, actually there was no struggling at all. She's laughing, I look at Sean and growl and see he is laughing too, look at the birthday boy and his face is sheer horror and stutters 'erm thank you' I ask if he can see what it is and he in true honest Ob form shrugs and says 'no', 'it's weights I scream' he laughs and say 'oh yeh' not at all convince. So I point out look 'it's weights it's got 20kgs on and Ob 14'. He looks at me and says 'oh yeh' then laughs a bit more and says 'it's very good'
It may not have looked as good as it did in my head but it tasted delicious and that's all that matters.
When it came to Charlotte's birthday I decided that I'd buy her a cake and rid myself of the stress of baking one. First time in 18 years so not bad hey?
I have also included when, again this is bake off's fault, I made bagels and hot cross buns. Easy they said, piece of cake they said. LIARS I SCREAM.
My bagels did not turn out with a perfect hole after swinging them around with 2 fingers in the middle and the hot cross buns were not a dream to make like the program informed me it would.
There have been so many more disasters in the kitchen that I could litreally write a book. May be I will. It could be called 'Guess my cake'
Ob's Game of Thrones cake for his 13th. But I don't need to tell you that, obvious isn't it.
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