Maddi now known as Barry

I've just got back from Fat Burning class, it was my favourite instructor taking it, cocktail dress lady. Remember her?! After having a quick emergency drive to IKEA to give Sean his glasses (more on that later) and after a very eventful trip to Costco fuel station (I have avoided it like the plague since the first and last incident, of course you all remember that don't you?!) The fuel is only $1.37 there for the sooper dooper stuff we have to put in the civic which is cheaper than at Woollies where it's $1.47. I actually don't care or mind how much it is because I know it's a lot cheaper than you guys are paying (hehehe)

Back to the fat burner story.... I rock up (after driving to the wrong car park... and yes it's easy to do as I came in a different way after seeing Sean) parked up, swiped in, which of course my card has to be the only one that doesn't swipe normally, the girls at the desk always have trouble with mine, typically. 

Get in to class dump Jack at the back and quickly check time and any emails.

Drop phone back in to Jack and eye up my competition...... only there seems to be some mistake..... I am the one of only 3 ladies under 50. Now I was tempted to ask a lady if this was for over 50's but felt that may result in a black eye to me. So I was debating asking at the reception but then cocktail dress lady came in and I thought I'd stay regardless because her classes are so much fun. She asked the usual questions except the one I was hoping for "everyone over 50" as she didn't ask it I decided it must be for us young-un's too. 

It was brilliant and I will definitely go back again just for the comedy value. Although like Sh'bam I'm sure if we were in public gyrating and shimmying things I don't normally shimmy in class we would get arrested. 

We were doing karate kicks and we had to be vocal and 'release our voices' so picture a class off over 50's plus me and 2 others at 30 years old (wink wink) kicking while shouting "aggh and huhh' Very funny. 

Home now and am listening to heart radio, which is funny because I'm hearing all the English adverts ... if anyone needs a new sofa DFS have got a sale on, but then when haven't they. Oh and there's a deal on at Sainsburys but I missed what for but may be worth a trip anyway? Sigh, I do miss Sainsburys. But I have Woolies, Coles and Aldi so what more can a girl ask for. Oh and if you ever come to visit and are looking for fresh noodles guess where they are...... all together now.... BY THE FRUIT. Of course they are. Double sigh. 

Back to the glasses story. Which I'm going to try and keep short. 

Sean had an opticians appointment a few weeks ago which resulted in him and the optician being quite honestly gobsmacked and dumbfounded. Basically the sight in his left eye is SO bad the optician thought he'd had some trauma to his head. Apart from the occasional smack from me he's not had anything serious. He couldn't read any of the letters on the board. So after being told he's an epic fail (the optician may NOT have been so blunt but I was reading between the lines so to speak) Sean is now the proud owner of some very swish glasses which in his words "make everything look like HD". The crux's of this appointment also resulted in all 3 of us being called in to be marked. Ob and I passed (although there's something weird going on in the back of my eyes but I feel that's more just the cotton wool fluffing around not anything serious. But poor Charlotte like Sean was an epic fail. In her right eye. So she is the proud owner too of some yummy glasses. (not even going to try and explain how the costing and pricing works here, because quite frankly I have no idea. I told the lady at the till my favourite phrase "I'm English so not sure how this works. That's the key to a lot of things as you know)

How many of you have been for an eye test .... hands up, right next question how long did it take? Maybe 20 minutes, 30 minutes at the absolute top? Erm, we were in there for 3 hours. YES 3 HOURS. 

He liked to chat let me tell you. I know all about him and his family, he's from Yorkshire, one of 3, married with 2 boys 11 and 7, mother is in a respite home, father died this year, owned a Specsavers in England... and because he liked my accent so much (yes really an English man noticed my English accent, yay) he offered me a job in his swanky new office in Manuka (where we stayed when we landed) he said he'd train me as an optical illusionist (may have said assistant but I like illusionist better) I did explain that I had a job but he was quite insistent after asking me several more times am I sure Charlotte and Sean have had no trauma to their head. Maybe he was accusing me, hmm. 

So we left it that I would think about it and he would get his wife to call me and we'd meet up for a coffee. Luckily she hasn't yet. 

I may have to wear a disguise when I pick up Charlotte's glasses.

Now you're all probably asking why I didn't take the job when as you know mine is so rubbish... the reason is I QUIT!! Not so true Maddi diva style but still pretty good. 

I told the manager as politely as I could how bad it was and he sat there AND agreed. So that says a lot doesn't it. 

That was last week, this week I'm free and enjoying pottering around and going to Fat Burner because next week I start with ......

IKEA. 

I'm in the bedroom department, I believe pillow fluffing. Sean says differently but what does he know. I have 4 weeks of training 2 of which are in Sydney which are causing quite a lot of panic for me. How will I get all my stuff in a hand held suitcase? Please discuss and give me answers. More importantly how will I do my classes. SOB. I don't like Sean's response to my question "do I have to pay attention" he told me "Yes Mad of course you do" hmm and sigh. 

I want to just pillow fluff and practice my dancing. 

Besides what does he know. 

Another thing to panic about .... I have to wear steel toe capped shoes. They are NOT allowed to pink, nor are they allowed to be open toed as in the style of flip flops NOR are they allowed to have a heel. Sigh and double sob. I have to wear bright yellow, and when asked if I could just wear the V neck jumper I was told no. These Ikea lot are mean aren't they. 

I can however wear jewellery and paint my nails so that's OK. As part of the whole recruitment process (No I wasn't just handed the job had to go through the same hoops as everyone else) at the last interview I noticed they had the picture of me that I had to hand in at the beginning of the recruitment, the one they said would be destroyed. As I caught sight of it I shrieked "oh my god that picture is terrible, I was at the rocky horror show, I don't normally dress like that" did cause them to giggle but not as much as when I told them in my previous role how I would walk in to the wrong patient's house and not only do it once and learn, Oh no it was a regular occurrence. Wrong house, wrong area and even wrong sex of patient. 

It's a wonder how I got the job actually! I think it was in the group exercise when I totally took over and solved every one's storage problem (Not that I've studied Ikea's catalogue..... MUCH) Wanna hear what my problem was?......... How to display ALL my shoes ... hehehehe. That certainly raised a few eyebrows and gave the table something to talk about. I think at that part of the interview I was that annoying person that always has to talk. You know the one, there is always that ONE annoying person. I was crook then as well and loosing my voice so they were lucky I was able to show how awesome I am. 

People still can't understand my accent NOR my name. When ringing up for take away last week and gave my name Maddi I was asked is that Maddi with an L. An L I shrieked, my name is MADDI. M A D D I. 

I have had this several times and Sean says I over pronounce it, so when the delivery driver came to the door just now and asked for my name to put in his little black box thing, you know the one when you sign your name it looks like it was done by a 3 year old. Or is that just mine? I said Barry, he passed me the box and said Thanks CARRIE. Seriously, I never had a problem of being understood or heard in England what's going on. Grrrr. 

Other news in brief... latest injury to Sean is his ankle, ribs are heeled, still a little bit sore but now it's the ankle. Charlotte had a hair cut and was traumatised by it as they cut all of 3 inches of. Called me in tears saying it was so short and sent me a picture I couldn't tell... still can't (at least she didn't end up with a bouffant and a 3 year old fringe)  Ob is cool and is working out like a trooper and getting some guns which he's chuffed to bits about. Me... well, no change still day dreaming and still no real idea at the gym. Suits me. 

Life is cool and it's the first day of Spring today which is awesome. We didn't have the hair drier heat on last night so that's a start. We were sat huddled under blankets and dressing gowns but still it's a start. 

Last thing to make you chuckle, when txn one of the lovelies at hehe my old work she told me she was going to Max, so I asked what that was and she said Max Brenner (www.maxbrenner.com.au)
I told her "Ive only been once and I didn't have anything I just got the kids summat"

Her quick reply was "Ooo I haven't tried that what is it" 

I'm still laughing now. After I explained i just got told "You're such a foreigner!!!"

Off to sit in the sun now