New girl stick your bum out.

Its that time of week already. How are you all? Good I hope. 

It's currently just coming up to midday and I thought I'd write a few lines. Not a lot has happened this week, at least I've not been stopped by the police and I've not cried at work (always a plus) 

Mainly this week I have been getting the most out of my gym pass (half way through) so I'll tell you all about that.

Last Monday I tried Yoga, which was very nice but did make me a bit giggly as the instructor was very gentle and had a soothing voice and I kept expecting her to bellow some commands like the other sessions do, but no she didn't. Instead she got us being a downward dog, a tree, a plank and a sun. Sadly there was no banging hardcore music either much to my dismay just a few wind chimes and bells. 

I'd heard that people fart at yoga (got me thinking of my bestie which also started off the giggles) am pleased to say that there were no farts heard. 

To begin with we had to lie in the foetal position but on our knees, which was lovely but after a while I had pins and needles but still I stayed and stayed and stayed. Almost nodded off at one stage when I realised I was dribbling on my own hand and could no longer feel my feet I was glad when I heard this gentle voice waft over saying "OK ladies stretch it out" stretch what out, had I missed something, had I really fallen asleep, I hadn't done anything to warrant stretching. 

So nervously looking around I copied the other 5 ladies in the class closed my eyes and stretched out on the yoga mat (which was very comfy I have to admit) 

More chilling or as we were told "think of the life reasons that enable you to be here today' 

Then we got to be as I said above a dog, etc etc. Being a tree was good and standing on one leg always makes me happy because I don't fall over. 

So yoga done and then Tuesday was Zumba. 

So.... I've heard with Zumba you can pretty much do what you like as long as you jump around like you're 3. (the instructor probably wouldn't agree but still that what I've heard so I must be right) the Latin music starts and then I get a horrible memory that floods back .....

When I was working with learning disabilities as the activity coordinator I managed to get one of the residents into salsa classes, and on the particular night I was the only driver working so I had to take her. Which was fine and although the music IS NOT my ideal listening I was prepared to give it 100%. which I did, I tried really hard to wiggle, grind and sway whilst trying to look half decent. Anyway, the instructor obviously didn't appreciate my efforts and after 10 minutes told me that if I wasn't prepared to try then could I please sit down and watch. When I argued back that actually I am really trying she then accused me of ruining it for everyone else so please leave the room. (This really did happen) 

So after being asked to leave I had to sit on the cold steps outside for 45 while the girl I'd escorted had fun. (Not bitter at all) 

So back to Zumba, I was extremely please when she turned the lights out and had 2 disco balls going. Felt like I was back at a school disco and ready to pop some moves to Vanilla Ice and New kids on the Block. 

Music cranked up high and we start to sway/ wiggle. I have the unfortunate position of right in front of the instructor and I say unfortunate because I could see her wincing at times at my "improvised moves" at least she didn't throw me out or tell me off. 

She did play some really good music after the Latin bit so I was happy, not sure she was THAT impressed when with the cool down music "feeling good" by Michael Bouble I started doing the burlesque routine that my old troupe used to do. Its hard not too, If i ever hear "Candy Man" by Christina Aguilera I bust some moves too. I thought me taking off my imaginary jacket was a good interpretation of her shoulder shrugs. Hmmm, maybe not. 

Still I enjoyed jumping around like I was 3 and generally dancing old skool style to the very loud pumping music.

Wednesday sees us back to spin...this time I'm prepared and I know what I'm doing (or so I thought) 

So I get there nice and early and start peddling like I did last week although have now realised this is a BIG mistake as when I'm anxiously looking at the lenght of time I've been peddling I get a glimmer of hope that the session is nearly over when its not. But there we go. 

So its the same devil last as last week, after taking 5 minutes to get my seat perfect and several glances around the room to check I'm similar to everyone else (minus those with their cycling shoes and now they seem to be wearing cycling tops as well) we start. "RIDE EASY LADIES, GEARS BETWEEN 6 and 8" so I start at 6. Now my mistake last week as you can all remember was that I forgot to go up the gears so this week every time the devil screamed at us I moved up a gear. Only to find that when I was in gear 18 I should have been in gear 12. 

Sigh. 

So, in gear 18 it felt like I am in a mermaid costume, wading through treacle while pulling a double Decker bus with my teeth. 

But it gets easier or so they tell me? I'll keep you posted. 

I was unable to talk for about an hour afterwards, and I was pretty much unable to even think.

So now we're on to Thursday and back to body attack, which yes is still jumping, squats, lunges and running about whilst clapping. Only I seem to clap the opposite time to everyone else and can't quite get which way we're supposed to jump. But its fun. (the music is great, only I must stop concentrating so much on the music and listen to what is being shouted out) 

Friday I had a personal trainer session, she asked me what I wanted to improve on and I made the mistake of saying I had no upper body strenght so she made me do all sorts of crazy stuff, like getting on a platform and lifting myself up 12 times, lifting kettle balls and mid air squats while holding myself on said platform and repeating and repeating. She was very good though. But I'm still aching.

Saturday I had to give a miss as we had to sort rego out on the UTE and then we went and had cocktails with our friends in a really really cool place, very urban and delicious drinks. 

Sunday I went to attempt body pump but after seeing the ladies putting out weights and steps I was a little put off so I stayed on the treadmill and ran like Phoebe in Friends (or that's what it felt like). After observing body pump I decide it didn't look too bad so I went there this morning......

Right.... one of the gym instructors helped me set up and her parting words are "you will feel this from your head to your toes" 

"oh, OK thanks" I smiled and nervously look around

Everyone is putting on their weight lifting gloves and I'm wondering if I have chance to run back to the car to get my fingerless woolly ones (we have a car with a metal gear stick, freezing in winter boiling in the summer - hence the gloves in the car) but no there is not time, the instructor comes in with her denim matrix looking coat and I know this is not going to be easy (I could tell by the matrix coat you see) I'm half expecting someone to come round with chalk dust for our hands but sadly they don't. 

So I have weights 5kg, 2.5kg and 2kg. plus step, plus towel, plus jack wills water bottle sitting proudly to my left. 

Matrix lady shuts out any new ladies. 

To which I gingerly raise my hand and admit to being new. She then barbels a whole load of instructions that I  don't hear as her microphone is not on. 

But I nod and smile and mouth OK. For all I know I'd just agreed to giving her all my wordly goods.

The music starts and we're told to grab our weights (on the bar thingy) and we do squats, slow ones fast ones, slow and fast ones together then long ones, short ones. 

She then starts bellowing at me "NEW GIRL STICK YOUR BUM OUT, STICK YOUR BUM OUT" 

So I stick my bum out while lifting and squatting and trying to work out what else she's saying. I'm near the back so I'm trying to copy everyone else's posture and technique. But sadly not very well as I hear again 'NEW GIRL STICK YOUR BUM OUT, YOUR BUM, YOUR BUM, STICK IT OUT' 

Bum comes out and arms go up. We then have to get on the step and lie down and lift. I really had no idea what she was saying, I had my hair in pony tail so that was uncomfortable lying down, I was trying to lift this bar with weight on whilst peering right to see what matrix lady was doing. 

After this half the ladies put their step away but I'm undecided and keep hold of mine. They add more weights I keep mine as they are. 

We then do lunges and lift, again I'm told STICK YOUR BUM OUT. 

I was glad for the cool down bit although again I could not hear what she was saying so I did my own thing which constituted of lying there with my legs in the air. Sigh

The plus thing is though at the reception they have a big huge pot of strong mint equivalent so I reward myself one after each session. Little things hey. 

I now am struggling to move my right arm and feel like I'm a bit robotic. 

I should also say the gym top I nearly dislocated my own shoulder getting off last week to pay for, has not loosened and therefore has been on all week and I feel now very much part of my everyday wardrobe. Double sigh.